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Reality Stars We'd Like To Hire for Personal Appearances

Apparently, if you want Snooki from Jersey Shore to be an inspirational speaker -- or, at the very least, a speaker -- at your event, the price is on the rise. However, her less fascinating counterparts Ronnie and his girlfriend Sammi Sweetheart are a bargain-priced package deal. Meanwhile, as I noticed while watching Giuliana & Bill (don't ask!), the first Apprentice winner is doing speaking engagements all over the country, which at least makes some sense since he won a reality show involving business savvy, as opposed to getting punched in the face. And lord knows that the Biggest Loser folks are making big bucks by acting as motivational speakers. So in light of all that, here are our picks for reality "stars" that we'd want to hire for very specialized personal appearances.

CT from The Real World/Road Rules Challenge
I don't necessarily want him to speak at any events, but if I ever need someone beaten up, he'd be the one I'd call. Dude was on this show for forever to win approximately five dollars, and he punched a cactus. He'd hit anything for money.

Gia, Kelsey or Marcia from Rock of Love Bus
If I were planning a bachelor party, these would be the girls I'd want there. Not necessarily as strippers, because they are classy ladies, but just for the general atmosphere. These women love to have a good time, especially when alcohol (with or without Doritos) is involved. Just keep them away from any speed bumps when they finally stumble home.

Coach/Douche Wade from Survivor
He probably thinks that he has some stage wisdom to share with the world and likely charges an arm and a leg for his appearances, but if I'm ever suffering from insomnia, I'd like to get him to come over and tell me some "true" stories about his life. I'm sure I'd fall fast asleep listening to these tall tales about being attacked in the Amazon, with or without any warm coconut milk.

Kaysar from Big Brother or James from Survivor
I'd just like to have these two on speed dial for the next time I do something stupid, or trust someone I shouldn't. After talking to them for a few minutes about their idiotic mistakes, I know that I'd feel better about my own life.

Chyna from Celebrity Rehab and the WWE
If I ever have to stage an intervention, I'd like to pay Chyna to act as a host. She could share her experiences and, if things came to blows, she could surely throw down the person in trouble and keep them from getting way out of line.

It goes without saying that I'd love to have the Jersey Shore folks come hang out with me and take me on a tour of Seaside Heights and show me all the places to go and where the best tanning salons/laundromats are and how to find that awesome place where all the boats go to hang out.

Who would you like to hire, and for what event? Sound off below. Then find out who we consider the worst reality stars on the planet.

4 Comments

January 13, 2010 10:22 PM
Jonellyn
Reply

Just so you know you have to go to Toms river over the bridge for some GTL ( Gym Tan Laundry)..also if we have this fictious party how could you forget Vern!!!Naked Small person peeing in corners is hysterical..though the girls of Rock of Love might think its a gold Shlaugger slider...eww grossnot but not least The Ambers from Bad Girls b/c anyone who survived that long in theor house and didnt get beat up is beyond me!!!!

January 14, 2010 9:48 AM
leona
Reply

James???? I'd have to say that Eric from fans vs faves was a bigger example of being overtrusting. Besides-Erc would run around the event like a cute little puppy all excited about everything. Bonus: you might get free ice cream too!

April 16, 2010 1:09 PM
Loraine Stotz
Reply

Lars I don't really see your point, I think he is completely right in this article

April 26, 2010 7:33 PM
Mediterranean Yacht Charters
Reply

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