In the grand tradition of shows like Real World/Road Rules Challenge and Charm School, ABC has announced that it will be tossing 20 veterans from The Bachelor and The Bachelorette into a house together and filming them, Big Brother-style, with challenges and evictions every week. With the current season of The Bachelor winding down tonight, we got to thinking -- who should they cast to ensure an eventful all-star season? Here are our must-haves:
Michelle Kujawa (The Bachelor 14)
In the grand scheme of things, the Rozlyn controversy this season was nothing compared to the crazy that Michelle brought on screen. With the exception of Roz accusing Chris Harrison of hitting on her boyfriend's wife (wrap your head around that) in the "Women Tell All" episode, all the juicy stuff really happened in the tabloids. Michelle, on the other hand, will show up anywhere you promise she can find a husband and then she'll throw numerous tantrums, do her best Fatal Attraction impression every time one of those potential husbands talks to other women and will stomp around declaring that her mother expects her to have babies, like, yesterday at every opportunity. If she can't be the next Bachelorette because they want a so-called "sane" person like Ali, we demand Michelle for Bachelor Pad.
Graham Bunn (The Bachelorette 4)
The Deanna Pappas reject we don't hate (actually we don't hate Jesse Csincsak, either, but that's probably because we never think about him), Graham and his abs would cause desperate famewhore hysteria. Plus, we genuinely miss him.
Shayne Lamas (The Bachelor: London Calling)
She knows her way around reality television, having been both a winner of The Bachelor and a star of Leave it to Lamas, and she's a bona fide soap actress (General Hospital) to boot. All of this spells drama, and that's not even counting the fact that her lineage is all Lamas (of the Lorenzo variety). Those people make for crazy TV.
Tanner P (The Bachelorette 5)
Yes, yes, Tanner P had a foot fetish that was gross, but he was also kind of adorable, in an endearing man-child kind of way. He seems like the type who would take Big Brother-style challenges extremely seriously, which would be hilarious, and he could run vital interference when Michelle inevitably tries to murder Erica Rose (see below).
Megan Parris (The Bachelor 13)
Ahh, Megan. Lacrosse coach, loving mother, absolutely beautiful girl. She also swears more than a drunken sailor and picks fights like one, too. Have her pack up her crazy eyes and lacrosse sticks and inhabit the same space as Michelle. Ratings bonanza, we tell you.
Charlie O'Connell (The Bachelor 7)
Admittedly, we're partial to less famous siblings (if only Rooster McConaughey had vied for Jillian Harris's heart!), but Charlie O'Connell would be a good pick because A) he's actually still with Sarah Bice, the woman he chose at the end of his season, which would be good press for the show's notoriously crappy track record, and B) he's your classic lovable slacker. He wouldn't be around for long, but imagine Tanner P's freakout when he finds out Charlie ate all the Bugles.
Erica Rose (The Bachelor: Rome)
The self-proclaimed princess and tiara enthusiast who tried to hire one of her fellow contestants to be her maid (after Chris Harrison refused to hire her one from the outside world) has been gone from reality television for far too long. It's been a few years, though; they'd better make sure she hasn't matured at all (or lost her money) before they cast her.
Wes (The Bachelorette 4)
We'd have to hear more of his songs, but that's about the only drawback. The other contestants' open hatred of Wes during Jillian's season was the best thing about it, and that was when he was only playing one girl we knew. Imagine, for example, if he were promising Michelle he'd impregnate her while going behind her back and asking Princess Erica what kind of pony she wants as a wedding present? Explosions!
Ashleigh Hunt (The Bachelor 14)
Because you need someone genuinely likable to root for. Ashleigh kind of got a raw deal when Jake Pavelka begged Chris Harrison to take one of his roses away just so he didn't have to give her one, and if she still wants to be famous we'd love to have her back.
Bob Guiney (The Bachelor 4)
"What do you mean you don't want to see some magic? Greg Grunberg taught me this awesome trick..." "I don't need this shit! I hang out with House!" "Oh you don't like my shirt?! Well screw you! Teri Hatcher knitted me this shirt!" What we're saying is: we're hoping he's become quite the namedropper.
Your picks? Tell us below!
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