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Fringe Takes on the Worst Producers Ever, Tries to Kill Me

Every TV fan has showrunners and/or writers they just can't stand for one reason or another. Star Trek fans by and large don't adore Brannon Braga, for example. Heroes creator Tim Kring has also become quite frustrating, and Ronald D. Moore divides as many Battlestar fans as the show's finale did. But me? I don't pay much attention to those three (well, Kring I pick on, but who doesn't?), because all my frustration and ire is focused on two people: Monica Breen and Alison Schapker. Haven't heard of them? Let me tell you what they've put me through, and what they'll likely do to Fringe, since they've just joined as co-executive producers.

As showrunners of Brothers & Sisters, they de-Walkered Rebecca, subjected us to Ryan, made Kitty cheat on The Senator with a park dweller for no reason whatsoever and refused to let the Ojai business scandals of Season 1 die. And that's not even getting into Greenatopia (which they promptly abandoned), Nora's cancer center hobby (which they promptly abandoned) and the revolving door of stupid Nora Walker love interests (the swinging architect, the grifter doctor, etc).

If you watched Alias, you may remember what the show was like after JJ Abrams abandoned it for Lost in Season 4, leaving it in Ken Olin, Schapker and Breen's hands. It was a tired, melodramatic, ridiculous and unwatchable cartoon, full of old plot devices that should have been long dead (Breen and Schapker decided to "double" Sydney long after we'd had quite enough of Evil Francie, and they were partly responsible for that whole "My name's not really Michael Vaughn" fiasco, for instance), and though part of that was Ken Olin's fault, Breen and Schapker wrote most of the show's episodes during this period, and were producers, too.

They also worked on Charmed, but I never watched much of that so I can't speak to what they did to it. I'm certain it was something very bad, however.

So what does this mean for Fringe? Well, first of all, it means anything that you didn't like about the first season and a half will be back to haunt you. I'd bet my life savings that another pushy, misogynistic FBI bureaucrat comes buzzing around to disband the Fringe division a la Season 1's Agent Harris. I'd also wager that they'll find a reason for Olivia to be stripped down to her undies and plunged back into that dream tank again. Everyone's going to get inappropriate love interests, Walter's going to start saying things like "Thong" and "What's a spork?" and when they start running out of steam towards the middle of Season 3, somebody's going to get a surprise sibling who's the key to everything. Oh, and Gene the Cow is going to take up with a ballroom dancing Frenchman in Pasadena.

They turn every show they work on into the Asylum version of what it previously was, so, if you thought Fringe couldn't possibly get any more ridiculous, you are about to be schooled by the masters, my friends.

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