This week, the chefs on Top Chef Masters have to cater a meal for the cast of Modern Family. We're not sure that the sitcom's cast is really known for their critiques of high-end food, but we love the actors so much that we're willing to just go with it. And the whole idea got us thinking of other ways we'd like to see scripted and reality programs collide.
The Amazing Race/Gossip Girl
The teams of two would land on the Upper East Side and have to drink at the Empire with Chuck without getting molested by him. Then they would have to either walk the runway in an Eleanor Waldorf fashion show (getting their next clue from Dorota), without getting roofied, or play a game of Assassin with Serena and Nate. Finally they'd have to navigate their way to Brooklyn to find Phil munching on waffles with Dan at the pit stop.
Project Runway/The Vampire Diaries
The designers would have to travel to Mystic Falls to create fashions that incorporated really ugly old jewelry along with cloth that had been soaked in vervain. Instead of getting auf'd, the contestant who failed would end up as Damon's dinner. (Actually, that's not a bad way to go).
Jersey Shore/Cougar Town
The Jersey Shore crew is already down in Florida working on their tans, so a quick visit to Cougar Town would seem to be in order. Vinny could take Jules out for a night, since he has no problem hooking up with the older ladies, and the Situation would get along famously with Laurie, since instead of a last name/first name, he just has a nickname. Meanwhile, Snooki would be all over Bobby since she has a thing for boats. She wouldn't even notice that it's in a parking lot after he plies her with cheap booze from a bucket.
How well can the cast of Glee really sing? Let's put them to the test on the live competition show. We've got a feeling that Finn would be out Week 1 without any Auto-Tune assistance. Still, he's probably better than at least half of this season's actual contestants.
Top Model/Parks & Recreation
Tyra's show has pretty much run out of global fashion capitals for the girls to travel to, so the next cycle could be based in Pawnee. The girls would have to put on a runway show for the locals that involved them stomping the catwalk with local farm animals, while Ron Swanson would serve as a guest judge (assuming you could pull him away from the breakfast food at the craft services table).
The Biggest Loser/Heroes
In a desperate ploy to boost Heroes' ratings, Bob and Jillian could take the show's characters and divide them into two teams (heroes and villains, natch) and then train them to battle against each other. Along the way, a lot of dead weight could get left behind.
Is it too much to hope that Whitney's New York life would be too much for her to handle and that she'd end up as Castle's victim of the week? Castle could get a whole boring novel out the dull exploits that led to her demise.
Production on Lost may have ended, but it seems like a waste to tear down all those sets. So let's use them to help provide some real action in the next season of Survivor. The challenges could include outwitting a smoke monster, outplaying some mysterious natives and outlasting Richard Alpert in order to claim the title of Sole Island Survivor.
See our list of the absolute worst people on reality shows.
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