I can't imagine any of you care, but your grandparents might: rumors are swirling that Charlie Sheen wants off of Two and a Half Men because he's over it and his personal life is in shambles. But there are also reports, as there always are with these things, that it's a negotiating ploy for even more money. And now you know!

Gina Torres has landed a role as a doctor on ABC Family's fat camp pilot Huge, which, if picked up, will really get in the way of her habit of guest-starring on every single show on television. Tricia Helfer better start eating her Wheaties; she's an army of one now.

DirecTV might save another show: Despite having a very strong current season, nobody's watching Damages, so FX may can it. So the show's production company may take it to DirecTV, where the cost burden will be shared between them and FX, similar to the deal NBC has with DirecTV for Friday Night Lights. Which means we won't be seeing Damages Season 4 until like 2012, hopefully before we're all dead.

This is sort of yesterday's news, but there is ample reason to believe that Modern Family's iPad-focused episode this week was not, in fact, paid for by Apple. So if you were angry about the product placement episode, you should feel quite silly now.

And it's officially official: Glenn Beck, Jay Leno, and Guy Fieri are not sexy. It's important to document these things.