On this week's episode of Modern Family, the entire extended family starts out on their multi-episode trek to Hawaii. Upon hearing about this, our minds immediately jumped to cursed Tiki necklaces, surfing accidents and Don Ho, à la The Brady Bunch's infamous trip. Can't you just see Luke accidentally finding a Tiki and then nearly getting bitten by a poisonous spider? While it seems that Modern Family is offering up a, well, more modern take on the group vacation to the islands, it got us thinking about other classic Brady Bunch sitcom plots that would benefit from this ABC show's unique spin.
Limited Tickets to an Event
What if Manito had a big pan flute recital that he really wanted both his father and stepfather to attend, but he could only get one ticket? How is a boy to choose? Play pin the tail on the donkey? Fake a hangnail injury? Or get Cameron to help stage a special performance? We'd go with the last option, since that's what worked out for Cindy Brady.
Two Siblings Compete for School President
Instead of a showdown between Marcia and Greg and a battle of the sexes, let's pit brains against beauty and have Alex and Haley go head to head to see who can rule their school. Though, admittedly, we'd personally just start a write-in campaign for Manny.
Guinness Record Attempt
Teeter-tottering is passé, so how about having the tech-addicted Phil try to break a record for the longest continuous use of an iPad? Seriously, there are records for underwater jump-roping and Guitar Hero high scores -- this is not so far-fetched.
Add a Cousin
A few years into the show's hopefully long run, when the kids start getting older and less adorable, it will be time for a random "cute" cousin to be awkwardly brought to the mix. We suggest someone out of Gloria's family since another addition will likely blow Jay's mind.
Middle Child Syndrome
The "Haley, Haley, Haley" episode would have Alex getting fed up with Haley constantly being the center of attention while she's overlooked. Alex has brains, but we imagine that her teachers can't stop talking about the charming and popular Haley who can do no wrong in their book.
Allergic to Household Pet
They sort of touched on this recently, having Phil's dad bring a dog to the Dunphys since grandma was allergic, but we can easily see Phil bringing home some sort of exotic animal that would cause one of his kids to break out in hives, forcing him to decide who stays and who goes. It could just turn out to be that Alex is allergic to the flea powder, like Jan Brady was, but we've got a hunch that the poor animal will likely end up somewhere with the dog butler.
Put a Pay Phone in the Kitchen
The Dunphy clan has a bunch of kids, which means that they will eventually all exceed their cell phone minutes. To teach responsibility, Phil could take a page from the Mike Brady playbook and install a pay phone in the kitchen that the kids are forced to use. All would go well until Phil has to close a major real-estate deal.
Missing Doll Causes Feud
Poor Lily's favorite doll could go missing, though it wouldn't be a Kitty Karry-All, but rather probably one of those ugly Bratz things. Anyway, after it disappears, Mitchell would no doubt blame Cam and Cam would blame Mitchell and they would have a big fight... only to discover the doll in their neighbor's dog house.
Haley could plan a date with the star football player instead of Dylan, but then get caught in the middle of a family football game in which she gets hit in the face (she'd have to shout "Oh, my nose!" of course), ruining her plans. In Marcia's case, she realized she didn't want to go out with the superficial football star and that she was lucky to have her sensitive beau. But Haley might relate better to the shallow option.
A Trip to the Grand Canyon
The Modern families are already going to Hawaii, and since we've already learned how much Mitchell hates being outdoors, let's send the whole clan to the Grand Canyon where they could meet up with weird prospectors, ride burros, visit ghost towns and befriend Native Americans. Cam in a headdress? That we need to see.
Boy Gets a Contagious Disease from Kissing
While Manny is the lover, we envision Luke being the one who would get smitten with a pretty neighborhood girl and end up seeing fireworks when he kisses her. But instead of catching the mumps (like Bobby Brady), he would get a bad case of H1N1.
President of Fan Club
Marcia's dream came true when she was able to get Davy Jones to come to her school dance. On Modern Family, the normally level-headed Alex would be desperate to break into the popular crew. Naturally, she'd start a Justin Bieber fan club, tell everyone he's coming to their homecoming, look forlorn when it looked like it wasn't going to happen and then finally find a way against all odds to get him to come sing "Baby."
Someone Gets a New Persona
Greg Brady got transformed into Johnny Bravo in order to make a go of his music career, and we could easily see the same thing happening to Dylan. In order to gain notoriety and fame, he'd have to adopt a completely new persona and start wearing ugly clothes.
Other Brady Bunch classic sitcom plots you'd like to see Modern Family adapt? Something with UFOs? A washing machine gone wild? Leave 'em below. And when you're done, peruse our Modern Family forum.
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