This week on TV, famous people felt the need to apologize publicly: Ellen DeGeneres apologized to Apple for making fun of the iPhone (like Apple should really be worried what a comedienne says about a product that has taken over the world) and Elisabeth Hasselbeck said sorry to Erin Andrews for basically saying that she's asking for more stalkers with her skimpy Dancing With the Stars outfits. While we're sort of over all of this recent mea culpa stuff in front of cameras (Tiger Woods, we blame you), there are a few more apologies that we think are in order. Maybe Ellen can start with telling us how sorry she is for joining Idol but then contributing nothing of value, and then move on the following:
10. Ali Fedotowsky, for making the Iceland volcano disaster all about her
Look, we get that she's trying to plug her show, but telling everyone that she was just there a few days prior, during the midst of a serious natural disaster that shut down airlines worldwide, was not cool. It's not like she was there when it erupted, or was even inconvenienced at all by the travel delays. Have we mentioned that we're dreading the new season of The Bachelorette?
9. Tyra Banks, for insisting on being a photographer
Tyra already has all of Top Model devoted to kissing her ass, but when she acts as photographer for the models, the panel of judges are forced to genuflect to her even more than usual about her supposed artistic vision (in reality, her portrayals of the girls are consistently bland). Nigel, a pro, takes pictures every other week, yet Tyra isn't compelled to shower him with compliments every second.
8. Neil Patrick Harris, for not using his powers to get someone to write better lines for Barney
Barney used to be our favorite character on How I Met Your Mother, but in his post-Robin days, he's devolved into a caricature of his former self. Perhaps it's a case of NPH being stretched too thin, but he really should demand better storylines. He's an Emmy nominee and a self-proclaimed magician, so it's ridiculous that he can't conjure up a trick that would get the writers to restore Barney to his former glory.
7. Brooke Burke, for being just as useless as Samantha Harris
We were thrilled when Dancing With the Stars' backstage waste of space Samantha Harris announced that she was departing the show and taking her inane questions with her. However, Brooke Burke hasn't been even marginally better with her off-the-cuff interviews. She mostly just likes to remind the world that she won this show once and that she looks good in tight dresses.
6. Taylor Momsen, for making Jenny Humphrey worse than normal
Sure, it isn't entirely Momsen's fault, but it does seem convenient that her character is on a downward, drug-dealing spiral right around the time that she's heading out on tour with her band. It also seems a bit coincidental that she'll be gone for a great part of Season 4. We want her to issue an apology while out on the Warped tour, and then make sure that Jenny comes back awesome.
5. Caite Upton, for trying to prove she's smart, but acting like a bitch
The former Miss Teen South Carolina (who will live in YouTube infamy thanks to her "like, such as, the Iraq, South Africa" pageant performance) has been on a mission to redeem herself on The Amazing Race this spring by proving she can read a map, although clearly she and her partner weren't as focused on following directions. She's actually made it to the final three, but not only has she failed to establish her intelligence, she's been pretty nasty to her fellow contestants, especially "the lesbians," along the way. She may be able to figure out bus lines, but she isn't convincing anyone she's a decent human being.
4. Jill Zarin, for acting like a child
We used to love watching Jill and Bethenny together as they took on the other Real Housewives of New York, but now that they're estranged and feuding, we're forced to watch Jill get really immature with her actions. We know her husband was sick, but come on, grow up already, accept an apology and move on with your life without sending text messages about how Bethenny is cursing her baby because the blogosphere revealed the pregnancy early.
3. Matt Morrison, for not refusing to do any more rap scenes
This Glee star was known for his Broadway work and his stellar singing voice, and yet we're regularly subjected to watching him rap... complete with hip-hop dabce moves. Once was tolerable, but after "Thong Song" and "Ice, Ice Baby," our ears are officially offended.
2. Heidi Montag, for waiting so long to get plastic surgery
While we feel slightly bad for her poor mother, who is watching her daughter melt away into a pile of plastic, Heidi's surgery has been the best thing to happen to the show in years. She's truly a monster now in both body and spirit, and every good story could use a monster to keep things interesting.
1. Ryan Seacrest, for not being able to get Idol to end on time
Seriously, this doesn't happen with America's Top 40, so he must understand how to get a show to run within its set time limits. There is no reason he needs to goad the contestants into talking so much, or to stick his own opinion in, or to start chatting up the mentors for their thoughts. His blabbermouth and inability to make people shut the hell up are squarely to blame for the needless overruns.
See who made our list of the worst human beings on reality TV.
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