We can't help but feel a little bad for Katie Cassidy at the moment. She was the best thing on The CW, and they knew it, so they delayed officially canceling Melrose Place until after pilot season, essentially leaving her trapped on the network until next year's pilot casting rounds. And as such, she'll be guesting on Gossip Girl this fall, playing a love interest for Nate. Great -- we know what a fantastic opportunity that turned out to be for Joanna Garcia last season. Nothing like showing up on an established show past its prime to form an annoying new love triangle (I know he and Serena are done, but I know this show, so I know they are never going to be done) -- just ask Melissa George how awesome it is! So it sucks, and it just made me think of other, possibly worse ways the CW could have stuck it to Ms. Cassidy for (allegedly!) trying to leave the network last spring. You know they at least considered all of these at some point.
Offer Her a Flight Attendant Apprenticeship on Fly Girls
Because the CW is like federal prison -- they may not let you out, but at least they teach you a trade.
Make Her Play Sharpay's Mom on Hellcats
Katie Cassidy is a year younger than Ashley Tisdale, but I wouldn't put it past them.
Give Her the Opportunity to Be Run Over By Annie on 90210
It would teach a valuable lesson. Not all vehicular homicide victims are hobos, you know?
Have Her Host a Cocktail Party for the Top Model Contestants, So They May Learn How to Speak to Adults
That indignity was reserved for Tinsley Mortimer last season, but this is a whole new season, with a whole new network shitlist.
Write Her Into Smallville or One Tree Hill
Either one, really. They're equally embarrassing.
Raise New Ruby from the Dead Solely to Kill Original Ruby (Supernatural)
Insulting and nonsensical, but I have to admit I'd watch.
Give Her an Annoying Name and Stick Her on Life Unexpected for a While
But how to top Baze and Lux? Amanda Woodward Jr.? Riley Jonah? They really could have turned it into her scarlet letter. A rare miss, CW.
Can you top these? Leave your ideas in the comments, and check out our list of Gossip Girl storylines we want to kill.
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