The entire Dance Your Ass Off audition process was efficiently handled in a mere one hour premiere last night, as we saw people come from around the country in droves, asses firmly intact, to dance for us in quick cuts of what probably amounted to about 90 seconds per contestant until they were either dismissed or cast. It wasn't that compelling (are audition episodes -- of any show -- ever engrossing?), at this stage in the game, but it was admirably quick, I will give them that.
Dance Your Ass Off causes a kind of moral confusion in me, where my first reaction is "They're exploiting fat people like circus animals!" Which usually shifts to "Well, those fat people are doing a pretty good job, it's just weird to me to see fat bodies doing dance moves." Which then quickly moves on to "I guess I'm the asshole, then?" And then I stop watching, the cognitive discomfort too great to continue. I didn't see the end of last season, obviously, but I'm told it was quite the guilty pleasure, and as my goal for the summer is to stop overthinking stupid throwaway shows -- an initiative I began with Drop Dead Diva and plan to continue with this show -- my Dance Your Ass Off Season Pass has been set.
As for this episode in particular, I like Mel B and find her a lot less annoying than Marissa Jaret Winokur as a host, but since when has she had that posh (pardon the pun) accent? Somebody got an accent coach! On my Spice Girls tour VHS tapes she had a thick Leeds accent, which has somehow evolved into some Helen Mirren-esque proper British lady situation over the years, and it's bothering me to hear her not sound like herself. Though I do hope to make an effort to get used to it.
But the season should be good -- there's a nice mix of formally trained dancers who have just let themselves go, to amateurs who have some raw talent. I don't really think we got to see enough of their personalities in the short premiere for me to have an attachment to anyone in particular (though "apple-shaped" Briana's all-balls-out dancing and adorable giggle is undeniably infectious), but I can tell you that Adamme is going to get unbearable, and fast. He's really going for it, and I applaud him for not being lazy, but that guy is animated in a demonic, Richard Simmons overkill kind of way. Which is nice, actually. I need someone to hate while Jenny Humphrey is on vacay from my television.
Did you see the premiere? Leave your thoughts below, and see what other summer shows are returning for you to poop on!
Watch TWoP's editors discuss this summer's best returning shows in this segment airing on the New York Nonstop cable news channel:
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