9. "Can't stand this weather. You can't get tan in this weather, you can't creep in this weather, you can't do anything." -- Pauly D, on living in a prison of rain.

8. "Me and Pauly could be brothers from another mother, possibly; we're just that tight." -- The Situation, on medical marvels.

7. "My uncles want me to come here and just bang everything, but I kinda want better, quality girls." -- Vinny, on pretending to have standards.

6. "Who AAA call when AAA get stuck?" -- The Situation, stand-up comedian.

5. "Don't get too much nookie from Snooki." -- Vinny's relative, on public health that rhymes.

4. "I'm done Snookin' for love -- I found an amazing gorilla juice-head." -- Snooki, on finding true love with a small-balled man with rage tendencies.

3. "We went fireworks shopping." -- The Situation, re: travel essentials.

2. "I don't go tanning-tanning anymore because Obama put a 10 percent tax on tanning. And I feel like he did that intentionally for us. McCain would never put a 10 percent tax on tanning because he's pale, and he would probably wanna be tan." -- Snooki, on what's wrong with Washington.

1. "Obviously he, like, fucks his sister for a living" -- Snooki, re: the current job climate.

Excited for Season 2? Talk about it below, and brush up on our official set of rules of Jersey Shore!

Watch TWoP's editors discuss this summer's best returning shows in this segment airing on the New York Nonstop cable news channel:

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