Today's stories involve people staying, people leaving and non-human things like show titles and plotlines either changing or... not changing. Suspenseful, I know.

It's early yet, but American Idol is already cleaning house for next season. Not all of it is official, but most of the news seems pretty definite, at least for the time being. Ellen's out (that's been confirmed). Kara's probably out, and being replaced by J.Lo. Randy, easily the most universally hated judge in the show's history, is reportedly staying, for reasons I cannot for the life of me discern. Seacrest isn't going anywhere, of course, and then there's the most baffling of all the news: Steven Tyler may replace Simon. Well, that should be terrifying.

Summer's supposed to be the time for television that's fun, light-hearted fare that keeps us entertained until the fall, when the more dramatic and intellectually challenging programming starts. But this summer, a number of shows have us in tears each week due to their downbeat nature. As a public service, we've decided to identify the most fetal-position-inducing series so you know what to avoid when you're feeling good and what to watch when you just want a good cry:

We've got some tantalizing tidbits for you TV buffs today, involving the hopeful revamping of formerly funny How I Met Your Mother, a look at the first New Jersey native to appear on the incomparable Jersey Shore in Season 3 and, oh, a sex scandal. Always a good time here at TWoP News.

I was slightly worried about the new format of Degrassi, in which the TeenNick show goes from a weekly series and turns into a show that airs four nights a week. I thought it might be overkill, especially given that fact that while I've watched the show since I was a teenager (back when now-Principal Snake was just a student himself) my interest in the show had started to wane in the last season. The plots were sort of simple and ground that the show had covered before, or just mere placeholders until favorites like Manny or Emma or Marco could return for an episode. However, with "The Boiling Point" (the moniker for this nightly-serialized run) has really upped the ante and renewed my interest in the show. Here's why....

It's a tale as old as Egyptian folklore, when those tall, bronze-skinned beauties discovered that smearing kohl around their eyes would not only ward off evil spirits, but help them look all pretty and wide-eyed while doing so. And that, my friends, is how I like to think the first makeover was born.

There may be nobody more polite and friendly on television than Tim Gunn. As the mentor to the contestants on each season of Project Runway, Gunn is a paradigm of class, even when the designers aren't, so we were excited to get to talk to him in a conference call promoting this week's season premiere. And when he revealed that the new, 90-minute-long run time would feature more footage of his critiques, as well as one-on-one interviews with Mr. Gunn himself, we couldn't have been happier. Read on to find out which is his favorite season, what the new contestants are like, and why you may think some of them are too out-there to be real.

With Dinner for Schmucks coming out, we couldn't help but conjure up a list of the schmuckiest reality stars that have graced our television screens in the past year. This grouping of "unique" individuals makes the family from Home for the Holidays look tame. So get ready for a heaping of pathological liars, fame-hungry douchebags, and other shmuck-worthy reality characters that would make you want to set yourself on fire before the appetizers come out. We're serving them a dish of cold revenge for what they have put us through on their shows.

It's not necessarily that I want people to die on The Vampire Diaries, but if they're going to kill people anyway (like Kevin Williamson said at Comic-Con) then I feel like it is my duty as a fan to just go with it. On a show like this -- which has been ruthless in its first season, taken no prisoners (RIP, Vicki!) and shocked and kept me on the edge of my seat for every episode -- I'm almost excited to see who will be offed and what the fallout from that will be. So if they're going to start killing people, these are the folks I'd be least upset to lose.

Pretty boys do have all the luck, as Cheyenne Jackson joins Glee and the Old Spice ad guy gets a role on Chuck. I guess the same goes for not-so-pretty boys, as Billy Baldwin is also in today's news...