Chad Ochocinco is a fascinating guy who did a very strange (and publicity-grabbing) thing by legally changing his last name from Johnson to what he thought was the Spanish translation of his NFL jersey number. How crazy! Who does that?! So now he's on every show, including his very own VH1 dating show Ochocinco: The Ultimate Catch. The series premiered last night with a supersized episode, and while I genuinely do find Ochocinco to be pretty entertaining, this show is not even near the quality of VH1 trash to which I have become accustomed. I mean, not even the presence of the great T.O. could save this thing.

In today's headlines, we've got records set, rules adjusted and new endeavors breaking ground. Oh, what tumultuous gales sweep through our TV wasteland.

Sure, there were a lot of quality performances and shows overlooked during this year's Emmy nominations -- from the lack of acknowledgment for anything related to Community or Sons of Anarchy to the scarcely few nominations for Parks and Recreation. And we're still scratching our heads as to how Tony Shalhoub got another nom. But with that said, there were plenty of pleasant surprises that we're genuinely excited about.

No real big news stories today. Oh, what's that? You heard that nominations for some fancy (but not soul-suckingly pretentious! Looking at you, Oscars) awards show were announced this morning? And that they actually kind of, dare we say it -- made sense? Well aren't you on top of things. Here's our take on it. On to other must-knows of the day, including an imminent farewell to Mr. Jack Donaghy, a permanent place in TV Land (and our receptive hearts) for Betty White, and a questionable but lucrative stint in rehab for notorious kidnappee Jeremy London.

This might be the first Emmy nomination morning in a number of years that didn't leave us pounding our heads into the wall. That's not to say that there weren't a great deal of snubs (there were) or that undeserving people didn't get recognized (they did), but the number of happy surprises eased much of the frustration that we would otherwise feel. For us, the biggest pleasant surprise was that Friday Night Lights's tremendous husband and wife duo (played by Kyle Chandler and Connie Britton) were finally nominated for their years of brilliant, ignored work. The other big highlight was getting to watch nomination presenter Sofia Vergara stumble over pretty much everyone's name -- so much so that co-presenter Joel McHale generously pronounced "Hargitay" for her. And as if that wasn't enough to charm us, McHale also coped with his Emmy snub far better than we did, by simply shrugging and saying, "It's OK, I phoned it in." Is there an Emmy for best sport? Anyway, on with the rest of our initial reactions to this year's nominees.

Law & Order: SVU has tapped Henry Ian Cusick to play a love interest for Mariska Hargitay's Benson. Cusick, who played Lost's dreamy Desmond, will appear on two or more episodes as a graphic designer named Eric Weber. It might be enough to get me to tune into this cop show. What would really get me interested in it, though, is if they not only took Cusick, but also borrowed some plots from Lost and changed things up so it wouldn't be an ordinary procedural. Below are our ideas for how these plots could be implemented.

There is life after Lost (on other dead-end series) for Henry Ian Cusick, a comeback for deranged duo Beavis and Butthead (do we really want them back, Mike Judge??), and an Oscar winner takes a hit at Showtime's Weeds. Not a bong hit as far as we know yet...

Glenn was this Close to getting another season of Damages, but instead we're getting another superhero series in the Smallville vein, and the most ridiculous Glee guest stars yet.

Like all Bachelor/Bachelorette couples save Trista and Ryan and Jason and Molly (who don't count), Jake and Vienna very publicly broke up well before their ABC-televised free wedding. It would be sad if we cared, but what has been sad is their back and forth sniping in the tabloids, and the fact that ABC decided to make them participate in a Chris Harrison-mediated fight over why they broke up, which they crammed into the end of last night's Bachelorette episode. It was ugly and pathetic and generally the highlight of our summer so far. Here are our favorite parts.

It's a British invasion! A ton of Brit shows make their way here this week, plus an American show that the British somehow already have. Outrage! Let's storm their ships and throw their DVDs in the harbor!