The powers behind Glee announced at Comic-Con that they will do a Rocky Horror Picture Show-themed episode next season. While we'd be happy if this just meant that the characters would be dressing up and doing a midnight audience participation performance of the show to raise money for New Directions, we'd be really thrilled if it was a Halloween episode that did a full-on tribute to the cult musical and movie. Here are our suggestions on how we'd cast it.
Finn as Brad
Both are dopey and naïve and randomly insist on professing their love for women at the weirdest moments. And "Dammit, Janet" is not a vocally challenging song, and we think this is well within his limited vocal range.
Rachel as Janet
Well, if Finn's Brad, then Rachel has to play his wide-eyed and somewhat virginal fiancée who would get so angry when she sees her man having sex with another guy that she'd impulsively throw herself at any random creature of the night in retaliation.
Puck as Frank N. Furter
Puck may seem dumb, but we bet if he put his mind to it, he could create a perfect specimen to ogle and have sex with. Plus, he's ruthless enough to kill a delivery boy in order to create his sexy masterpiece. Mostly we just want to see him in that corset costume with some killer boots... and making out with Finn. Don't pretend like you haven't considered it.
Brittany as Rocky
Hot. Dimwitted. Tan. Blonde. Predominately mute. Brittany's the perfect choice, so long as we're doing gender-blind casting. Sure the role of the "creature of the night" who has only part of a brain is typically played by a guy, but we suspect that Puck would likely make his creation a woman instead of a man.
Santana as Columbia
This is a tapdancing devotee/groupie of Frank's who goes a little off the deep-end when she discovers that her former lover has been chopped to bits in order to create Rocky. Santana has always seemed like the jealous/vengeful type to us.
Kurt as Riff Raff
Some might have cast Kurt as Frank, but he really doesn't have that outrageous personality. Instead he could be more of the handyman who is really an alien from outer space who only sort of tolerates Frank's weirdness. Plus, he'd get to sing "Time Warp" and go nuts with the ending.
Mercedes as Magenta
She's Riff Raff's sister, and while Kurt and Mercedes look nothing alike, how do we know what really goes on in genetics on the planet Transsexual?
Will as Eddie/Dr. Scott
This role is often split in theatrical stagings of the show, since the wheelchair-bound Dr. Scott is the uncle of the zombie-like delivery boy Eddie, so it makes since to do it here as well. Sure it would have been easy to just put Artie in the Dr. Scott role, but it would have been weird since he's younger than Mr. Schue. Besides we're sure they've still got some of those extra wheelchairs lying around from that "Proud Mary" debacle, and frankly, Mr. Schue isn't the brightest bulb (he still believes he can rap) around, and it would make sense if part of his brain had been given to Brittany.
Sue as the Narrator
In the stage versions, the narrator really gets to point out the preposterous nature of this show and make snide comments -- sounds right up Sue's alley. Expect lots of comments on Dr. Scott's ridiculous hair.
Leave your suggestions for Rocky Horror casting below.
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