A "half-hooker" takes the spotlight of today's news, and strangely enough, we're not talking about Jennifer Love Hewitt's Lifetime Movie, The Client List or The Real Housewives of New Jersey's Danielle Staub. Enter, Rachel Uchitel, courtesy of Dr. Drew, of course.
Celebrity Rehab Season 4 is rounding out their cast with a lineup of real winners, adding one of the many former mistresses of Tiger Woods, Rachel Uchitel. Upon hearing this, Donald Trump withdrew his personal invitation for Uchitel to join Celebrity Apprentice, claiming she's making "a terrible decision" -- obviously because there's a higher success rate with potentially narcotic-addicted celebrities making business decisions on Apprentice than life decisions on Rehab, right? It's too bad because I'm sure everyone wanted to see how Uchitel utilized her half-hooker skills to outsell the other team in cupcakes along with other Apprentice challenges.
In continuing skanky news, the Jersey Shore cast refuses to film due to contract disagreements over their earnings per episode. I don't know whether I should be more disturbed by the fact that they make more money than me to begin with or that they think acting like a moron is still acting worth compensating for. Sorry to say, but any group of hammered guidos on the boardwalk is willing to do the same for as much as a beer bong and a six-pack of Corona. There's your contract, MTV.
Finally some good news for NBC's new sitcom Love Bites: Will & Grace producers Tracy Poust and Jon Kinnally have signed on as showrunners for the series. This should make up for the fact that the show had to be delayed to January 2011 because star Becki Newton, who plays a virgin on the show, got pregnant. Seems like a storyline that could be used for Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston's hopeful reality show.
As if Glee co-creator Ryan Murphy needed any more indication that he's awesome, 20th Century Fox signed a 4-year $24 million deal with him. Hopefully, this will convince him to stick with Glee projects instead of doing yet another rom-com with Julia Roberts after Eat, Pray, Love, which he directed. How diverse for Roberts.
Discovery Channel's reality series Out of the Wild will be moving from Alaska to South America for Season 2, although technically it will be the third season since the show changed the title from The Alaska Experiment after Season 1. Even more confusing is that viewers who assumed they were watching a sequel to the Sean Penn-directed movie will wonder what happened to the climate change.
Our favorite hopeful Blue Man Group understudy/never-nude analrapist, Arrested Development's David Cross is joining former castmember Will Arnett and creator Mitch Hurwitz on our least favorite new show, Running Wilde. We'd rather see them finally working on the alleged Arrested Development movie, but until then, we'll just keep replaying this fake action trailer for it during the time slot that Fox airs Running Wilde.
The Funny or Die viral video Undercover Karaoke with Jewel has become the inspiration for a possible reality series in which music stars will perform while undercover at various places. I think an adaptation of The Landlord would be more entertaining (though there are probably those pesky child labor laws preventing it), but as long as it's not as painful as their production of 1000 Cats for HBO's Funny or Die Presents, I'm curious to see how it pans out.
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