It's summertime, so we've happily lowered our standards in regard to what we'll watch on television. But there is low and then there are shows that we're more than a little bit ashamed to admit that we not only watch... but actually enjoy. On occasion we discover shows like Pretty Little Liars, which we think we're going to have to DVR in secret but that then turn out to be genuinely well done. Or shows like True Blood, which is basically sexy vampire porn, but are OK because all our friends watch, too. But the rest of them... well, they wind up on our don't ask, don't tell list. But if you watched them as well, we'd feel a whole lot better about it. Here's our top (or bottom) ten:
10. America's Got Talent
As we mentioned just the other day, this terrible show, which is really catering to moms and the like, is one that we can't keep ourselves from watching. We actually learned some things from it -- not anything actually useful, mind you, but things nonetheless! But even so, we tell folks that we watch people juggle various objects because it's "for work."
9. The Fabulous Beekman Boys
Two adorable city boys (one who used to work for Martha Stewart and one who is a former drag queen) bought this awesome farm and now work to keep it running. Need we say more? Oh, and one half of reality TV's cutest gay couple is obsessed with making sure the pigs are kept clean and that the goats wear pretty bows. He just wants them to look their best is all.
8. Jersey Couture
Sure, it's another Jersey show. Sure, it's stereotypical. And we needed another show like Say Yes to the Dress like a hole in the head, but yet, there's something about Diane the boobologist and her booty bopping and fluffing that we just can't help but be charmed by. Her daughters, well, whatever, but she's pure reality TV gold.
There are few shows on television that are stupider than this one, but our inner 12-year-olds can't help but watch and laugh at people falling in the most dramatically ridiculous ways. They bounce. Off big balls. While covered in foam. Ha.
6. Drop Dead Diva
There's something about barely cobbled together courtroom scenes, tear-welling righteous melodrama and a chubby Elle Woods impression that just does it for us. The writer's room for this show is basically a 13-year-old girl's slumber party, but it's also probably the funnest 13-year-old girl's slumber party ever.
5. Losing It with Jillian
We love her screaming at people on The Biggest Loser, but we love her on this show even more as she actually moves in with the families she's making exercise until they puke. She cleans their closets, gets them over their hoarding, helps them deal with their emotional issues and still manages to find time to do her yelling workouts... all in an hour, and over the course of only a week. So much more immediately gratifying than The Biggest Loser.
It's an average show about nurses with Jada Pinkett Smith that we watched last year only because of our undying love for Michael Vartan. We vowed to quit this season, but we discovered that it's actually somehow sorta better. Maybe it's because Jada and Michael's characters are finally addressing their chemistry, or because there's a bitchy nurse in the new ER that hates Jada's bossy butt, but it is really a marked improvement.... though we still mostly watch for Michael Vartan.
3. Bethenny Getting Married?
The arguably most tolerable star of The Real Housewives of New York... or at least the only one we'd be willing to watch an hour of by herself, got a little show where she deals with getting knocked up and planning a wedding and juggling her life. It's charming, even though we already know that she got married and had her baby, so there's not a whole lot of suspense happening.
2. The OCD Project
Remember Fear Factor? Well, this is sort of like that but somehow even grosser and with a purpose that isn't just cash. OCD sufferers (from germaphobes to people who think they need to flip light switches a certain number of times to avoid killing their children with their minds) are thrown into group therapy and pushed to their limits by mentally trying to kill their loved ones, to holding knives to people, to rubbing strange gutter blood on their faces, to eating pastries after rubbing them all up in a public toilet. We love every gross minute of it.
1. The Bachelorette
It is inexplicably popular, but really, it is even grosser than The OCD Project, with Ali and her suitors molesting each other all over the globe, including some really sacred places. The people of the world don't need all these diseases. Not to mention the fact that it is stupid and fabricated and is really antiquated, as the girl on this show has to wait for a guy to propose to her and it seems that not no one is really there for the "right reasons." Doesn't stop us from watching every single painfully delicious minute of it though, for all the wrong reasons.
Your favorites? Discuss them below! And for an even guiltier pleasure, check out our list of Eclipse's most ridiculous moments.
Watch TWoP's editors preview July's new TV shows in this segment airing on the New York Nonstop cable news channel:
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