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TWoP 10: Late Summer Reality Shows We're Hoping Don't Suck

We've officially hit the reality doldrums of summer, where the Bachelorette has nearly chosen her mate, the So You Think You Can Dance contestants have been plagued by injury, the less talented America's Got Talent singers are getting voted through by the gen pop who are suckers for a sob story and the Big Brother twists have already fizzled out. But there is hope on the horizon, not just because Jersey Shore, The Rachel Zoe Project and Project Runway are returning to quench our reality thirst, but also because there is a whole new crop of shows still left to debut that sound intriguing. Some may be turn out to be duds, but here's hoping one of them is our next guilty pleasure.

10. Plain Jane
It's time for She's All That... the show. The only reason we're even remotely curious about this is because it is hosted by Louise Roe of The City "fame." This was apparently the big opportunity that she left the illustrious video-hosting job at elle.com for. Here, she's playing fairy godmother, making over people to help their dating lives and boost their self-esteem. Not sure she's qualified, but far less qualified people (cough*Dr.Drew*cough) have succeeded in reality TV. (Premieres July 28 on The CW.)

9. Confessions: Animal Hoarding
We just can never get enough of shows about people with hoarding addictions, and now they're exposing a whole new compulsion with Animal Hoarding. Hopefully, this involves living animals, not squashed dead cats like Hoarders, but either way, we already applaud the crew that helps with the clean up, because those houses must reek! Seriously, one of the early episodes is titled "80 Dogs, 1 Trailer." 80! Not eight, which some of us might already find excessive, but 80. Only problem? We're going to be tempted to want to adopt all of these pooches... making us animal hoarders ourselves. (Premieres July 21 on Animal Planet.)

8. Your Chance to Dance
We love a dance show, and though we're already dreading how many renditions of the "(I've Had) The Time of My Life" dance from Dirty Dancing and "Thriller" zombies we'll have to suffer through, it really can't be worse than seeing folks worldwide try and do a Tabitha and Napoleon routine on SYTYCD every week. Here, amateurs pay tribute to classic routines from famous videos or movies and win some cash. (Premieres July 23 on CMT.)

7. Growing Up Twisted
While these rocker reality shows never quite live up to the initial fascination we had with The Osbournes, we're game for career revivals... especially since Dee Snider is otherwise relegated to TV spots that amount to "surprise" guest appearances on America's Got Talent and competing on Gone Country. Here Dee is shown living with his wife and four kids in the suburbs of Long Island. Hopefully, it's more exciting than it sounds. No matter what, it has got to be better than Living Lohan. (Premieres July 27 on A&E.)

6. Hair Battle Spectacular
Not to worry, this isn't just a Shear Genius clone. Instead of trying to make their models look good, these folks are competing to create the most outrageous and over-the-top looks with hair that we've ever seen. Like making hair look like a wedding cake, or a guitar. Not sure where one could actually sport these looks, or that there's a market for these designers outside of fashion runways, but we're going to ignore that little fact. (Premieres August 10 on Oxygen.)

5. Money Hungry
Well, if forcing fat couples to put up 10 grand of their own cash doesn't incentivize them to lose weight, nothing really will. This VH1 version of The Biggest Loser takes ten overweight teams of two, collects a $10,000 entry fee, and the pair who gets the skinniest get the $100,000 pot. Way to keep the production costs down, show! Downside? Dan Cortese is the host. (Premieres August 2 on VH1.)

4. MasterChef
We should be sick of Gordon Ramsay shows running year-round on Fox, but we're surprisingly not. We really just can't wait to see what happens when he calls non-professionals "donkeys." If tough actual chefs can't take it, imagine the meltdowns these folks will have. (Premieres July 27 on Fox.)

3. Bachelor Pad
Finally a show where the Bachelor/Bachelorette contestants are there for the right reasons! No pretense of finding love, they just want cold, hard cash and maybe some random hookups. It's like Big Brother and I Love Money, but with people we already despise and/or have forgotten about. We can't wait to see what happens when you put all that crazy (read: Michelle) under one roof. (Premieres August 9 on ABC.)

2. Real Housewives of DC
We've all already heard about the White House party crashers and whatnot, but what leads up to that? Will these women be able to top the insanity that the previous Housewives have wrought? We think they can, and we expect a lot of political namedropping along the way. (Premieres August 5 on Bravo.)

1. On the Road with Austin and Santino
It's one of the oddest pairings of Project Runway alums you can imagine, but we're thinking that putting the dapper Austin Scarlett with the edgier Santino Rice on this What Not to Wear-esque show might actually work. The duo are traveling around the country to meet women (some with tough jobs) who need some major fashion overhauls in time for a big event in their lives. We can only hope that they travel in a sparkly pink bus! (Premieres July 29 on Lifetime.)

Watch TWoP's editors discuss the best upcoming reality TV shows in this segment airing on the New York Nonstop cable news channel:

View more news videos at: http://www.nbcnewyork.com/video.

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13 Comments

July 16, 2010 3:49 PM
Dirtybubble
Reply

Bring on "On the Road with Austin & Santino"! Thanx goodness it airs right after Project Runway--easy to remember.

Also looking forward to Rupaul's Drag U (Logo)! So happy to see my fav. queens back from season 1 & 2 of the Drag Race

July 16, 2010 4:00 PM
snarcy
Reply

I can remember how you suggested in a previous Twop 10 that Dee Snider could have a Rock of Love -type reality show. I actually pointed out in the comments to that list that he was married, but the fact that he now has a reality show is still pretty good for you.

Also, thrilled about the Austin & Santino show (though more about the Austin part, as he is probably my all-time fave PR alumn). Certainly the pics I've seen have been brilliant!

July 16, 2010 6:58 PM
Emeraldfire
Reply

We have an Aussie version of the original UK MasterChef, and it is nothing like the UK version. I hate to think what a Gordon Ramsay version of MasterChef would be like....

July 16, 2010 10:20 PM
Rachel
Reply

Bachelor Pad! Bachelor Pad! I have serious Craig M. withdrawal.

July 17, 2010 3:37 PM
Jennifer
Reply

Animal hoarders need to be arrested and their animals taken from them, not put on a reality show for a quick house clean-up. Disgusting.

July 18, 2010 12:01 AM
L
Reply

The real question: Which of these shows involves a very blond person with a pincushion bracelet hugging a mob boss?

July 19, 2010 12:52 AM
Lydia
Reply
replied to comment from L

that show is on the road w/project runway alums

July 19, 2010 10:26 AM
DeAnn Welker
Reply

I thought the blonde was hugging Sly Stallone. I am SO confused by that photo.

July 23, 2010 10:48 AM
barbie3838
Reply
replied to comment from Jennifer

You said it!! I am so weary of these shows that reward people for their stupidity and laziness!

July 26, 2010 6:29 PM
Satonica
Reply
replied to comment from Jennifer

I strongly disagree with you, Jennifer, AS LONG as the purpose of THIS show on Animal Hoarding (beyond ratings) is to offer psychological help to these people who need treatment for what is a severe mental illness in the OCD category as well as finding good people who can adopt these animals. THAT will be a blessing for ALL involved and YOUR attitude toward it is so narrow as to be nearly blinded. Shame on you. Judgement is God's job, NOT yours Jennifer.

July 26, 2010 7:26 PM
Mary
Reply

Gosh, Jennifer, how bout some compassion--these situations run deeper than that-you don't get it I bet! If you watch these shows, haven't you developed some kind of understanding -- you are the lazy and stupid one

October 5, 2011 5:33 AM
Discount Uggs
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A programmer: “I speak BASIC to clients, 1-2-3 to management, and mumble to myself”.

November 9, 2011 7:07 AM
Louis Vuitton Outlet Store
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