BLOGS

The Telefile
TWoP 10: Late Summer Reality Shows We're Hoping Don't Suck

We've officially hit the reality doldrums of summer, where the Bachelorette has nearly chosen her mate, the So You Think You Can Dance contestants have been plagued by injury, the less talented America's Got Talent singers are getting voted through by the gen pop who are suckers for a sob story and the Big Brother twists have already fizzled out. But there is hope on the horizon, not just because Jersey Shore, The Rachel Zoe Project and Project Runway are returning to quench our reality thirst, but also because there is a whole new crop of shows still left to debut that sound intriguing. Some may be turn out to be duds, but here's hoping one of them is our next guilty pleasure.

10. Plain Jane
It's time for She's All That... the show. The only reason we're even remotely curious about this is because it is hosted by Louise Roe of The City "fame." This was apparently the big opportunity that she left the illustrious video-hosting job at elle.com for. Here, she's playing fairy godmother, making over people to help their dating lives and boost their self-esteem. Not sure she's qualified, but far less qualified people (cough*Dr.Drew*cough) have succeeded in reality TV. (Premieres July 28 on The CW.)

9. Confessions: Animal Hoarding
We just can never get enough of shows about people with hoarding addictions, and now they're exposing a whole new compulsion with Animal Hoarding. Hopefully, this involves living animals, not squashed dead cats like Hoarders, but either way, we already applaud the crew that helps with the clean up, because those houses must reek! Seriously, one of the early episodes is titled "80 Dogs, 1 Trailer." 80! Not eight, which some of us might already find excessive, but 80. Only problem? We're going to be tempted to want to adopt all of these pooches... making us animal hoarders ourselves. (Premieres July 21 on Animal Planet.)

8. Your Chance to Dance
We love a dance show, and though we're already dreading how many renditions of the "(I've Had) The Time of My Life" dance from Dirty Dancing and "Thriller" zombies we'll have to suffer through, it really can't be worse than seeing folks worldwide try and do a Tabitha and Napoleon routine on SYTYCD every week. Here, amateurs pay tribute to classic routines from famous videos or movies and win some cash. (Premieres July 23 on CMT.)

7. Growing Up Twisted
While these rocker reality shows never quite live up to the initial fascination we had with The Osbournes, we're game for career revivals... especially since Dee Snider is otherwise relegated to TV spots that amount to "surprise" guest appearances on America's Got Talent and competing on Gone Country. Here Dee is shown living with his wife and four kids in the suburbs of Long Island. Hopefully, it's more exciting than it sounds. No matter what, it has got to be better than Living Lohan. (Premieres July 27 on A&E.)

6. Hair Battle Spectacular
Not to worry, this isn't just a Shear Genius clone. Instead of trying to make their models look good, these folks are competing to create the most outrageous and over-the-top looks with hair that we've ever seen. Like making hair look like a wedding cake, or a guitar. Not sure where one could actually sport these looks, or that there's a market for these designers outside of fashion runways, but we're going to ignore that little fact. (Premieres August 10 on Oxygen.)

5. Money Hungry
Well, if forcing fat couples to put up 10 grand of their own cash doesn't incentivize them to lose weight, nothing really will. This VH1 version of The Biggest Loser takes ten overweight teams of two, collects a $10,000 entry fee, and the pair who gets the skinniest get the $100,000 pot. Way to keep the production costs down, show! Downside? Dan Cortese is the host. (Premieres August 2 on VH1.)

4. MasterChef
We should be sick of Gordon Ramsay shows running year-round on Fox, but we're surprisingly not. We really just can't wait to see what happens when he calls non-professionals "donkeys." If tough actual chefs can't take it, imagine the meltdowns these folks will have. (Premieres July 27 on Fox.)

3. Bachelor Pad
Finally a show where the Bachelor/Bachelorette contestants are there for the right reasons! No pretense of finding love, they just want cold, hard cash and maybe some random hookups. It's like Big Brother and I Love Money, but with people we already despise and/or have forgotten about. We can't wait to see what happens when you put all that crazy (read: Michelle) under one roof. (Premieres August 9 on ABC.)

2. Real Housewives of DC
We've all already heard about the White House party crashers and whatnot, but what leads up to that? Will these women be able to top the insanity that the previous Housewives have wrought? We think they can, and we expect a lot of political namedropping along the way. (Premieres August 5 on Bravo.)

1. On the Road with Austin and Santino
It's one of the oddest pairings of Project Runway alums you can imagine, but we're thinking that putting the dapper Austin Scarlett with the edgier Santino Rice on this What Not to Wear-esque show might actually work. The duo are traveling around the country to meet women (some with tough jobs) who need some major fashion overhauls in time for a big event in their lives. We can only hope that they travel in a sparkly pink bus! (Premieres July 29 on Lifetime.)

Watch TWoP's editors discuss the best upcoming reality TV shows in this segment airing on the New York Nonstop cable news channel:

View more news videos at: http://www.nbcnewyork.com/video.

Want to immediately access TWoP content no matter where you are online? Download the free TWoP toolbar for your web browser. Already have a customized toolbar? Then just add our free toolbar app to get updated on our content as soon it's published.

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

MOST RECENT POSTS

BLOG ARCHIVES

The Telefile

March 2014

25 ENTRIES

February 2014

24 ENTRIES

January 2014

43 ENTRIES

December 2013

15 ENTRIES

November 2013

28 ENTRIES

October 2013

40 ENTRIES

September 2013

37 ENTRIES

August 2013

16 ENTRIES

July 2013

15 ENTRIES

June 2013

26 ENTRIES

May 2013

38 ENTRIES

April 2013

43 ENTRIES

March 2013

35 ENTRIES

February 2013

58 ENTRIES

January 2013

62 ENTRIES

December 2012

48 ENTRIES

November 2012

60 ENTRIES

October 2012

71 ENTRIES

September 2012

67 ENTRIES

August 2012

66 ENTRIES

July 2012

51 ENTRIES

June 2012

60 ENTRIES

May 2012

70 ENTRIES

April 2012

73 ENTRIES

March 2012

72 ENTRIES

February 2012

64 ENTRIES

January 2012

80 ENTRIES

The Latest Activity On TwOP