BLOGS
Today's news will probably elicit a fair share of hearty laughs (at Snooki's expense) and horrified gasps (new show about porn). Boozy Chelsea Handler is hosting arguably the most entertaining awards show on television and a much-beloved reverend is now a gay lover. My pearls could not be clutched more tightly.
Chelsea Handler, comedienne, best-selling author, and frequent commentator on the joys of being constantly intoxicated, is the official host of the MTV Video Music Awards this year, broadcasting on September 12. Tune in! Everyone shows up drunk to the ceremony, you're drunk when you're watching it -- it's guaranteed to be a good time for all.
More awards show goodness: Jon Hamm, Jim Parsons and Eva Longoria are the most recent additions to the Emmys presenter line-up. Fingers crossed that they all arrive in character and Gabrielle Solis attempts to plant a spontaneous smooch on an unsuspecting Sheldon Cooper, a surprise from which he will undoubtedly recoil because he clearly doesn't swing that way (or any which way, really).
The small screen just keeps getting classier. Mark Wahlberg and Steve Levinson, executive producers of Entourage, are teaming up with scandal-ridden James Frey to create a show on HBO about the porn industry. Actors as well as real porn stars (!) will be featured on the hour-long drama. It's not yet titled, but I can only imagine the tongue-in-cheek potential -- maybe pay homage to Frey and call it A Million Little Pieces... Of See-Through Lingerie or A Million Little Pieces... Of Shattered Dignity. Really, the possibilities are endless.
Snooki was charged yesterday for "annoying people" on the beach. And the only appropriate reaction to this is: "?!!?!?" Can't make this stuff up. The charge comes from when she was arrested in July after she was reportedly bothering people in Seaside Heights with her drunken antics. First things first -- you can be potentially convicted for being annoying? That explains overcrowding in prisons. Second, why hasn't this happened sooner? Like, right when she popped pouf-first into the world?
Reverend Camden, he is no more. Stephen Collins will be guest-starring on ABC's Brothers & Sisters next season as Saul Holden's new love interest. There was already one gay minister on the show; maybe he and Camden are same-seminary alumni?
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Ugh. Chelsea Handler is just awful.
How did you miss "A Million Little Pieces of Ass"?
because in some cases they aren't little
Unless the size of the Gentleman's...uh..."Member" makes the ass look small in comparison.
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