Billy Joel haters, please leave now. This is now officially a Billy Joel lovefest, one in which the news that his entire catalog is now open for Glee to use in an upcoming episode is greeted with excitement, and not dismay. Let's face it, the man has some amazing songs -- including "Piano Man," which Neil Patrick Harris memorably sang last season -- and as long as they don't use anything from his last album, 1993's River of Dreams, we'll be gleefully tuning in to the episode when it airs. We've even come up with a bunch of scenarios that might result in the New Directions kids belting out some Joel.
"It's Still Rock and Roll to Me" (Will and New Directions)
Choir director Will Schuester has been known to have dated musical tastes, from his insistence on making the group sing disco hit "Le Freak" to his shameless covers of Young MC. So the next time his tastes clash with the group's desire for newer music, Will can launch into this call-and-response song-versation with his kids to explain that music is music is music.
"My Life" (Quinn)
Now that Quinn's had her baby, she's reconciled with her mother, but her father is still an unknown quantity. At some point, she'll have to have a face-to-face with him, and we expect he'll have some pretty harsh words, and wouldn't that be the perfect place for Quinn to tell him to go screw himself via the old theme song to Bosom Buddies?
They may need to edit out a couple of lines in this one, but Joel's treatise on the price of fame and its fleeting nature would be right up the alley of Rachel, who defines herself by her singing ability and seems to have her heart set on Broadway. The premise of the song requires that Rachel achieve some degree of fame first, but as we all know, that fame can be real or totally in Rachel's head.
"She's Got a Way" (Finn)
Now that they're dating, Finn is going to get a lot of questions about what he sees in Rachel, who in many ways seems like his total opposite. But this song, soulfully sung while leaning up against a multitude of lockers, should explain just what it is that keeps Finn coming back to Miss Berry. Whoops! That's an unfortunate metaphor!
"Only the Good Die Young" (Puck to Rachel)
Puck's feelings seem to waver between Quinn, Rachel and Santana depending on the needs of the episode, and we hope things even out a bit in the new season (since he's fathered a child now). But if, for some reason, he sets his sights on the goody two-shoes Rachel again, this might be the song he'll sing (with guitar accompaniment) to get her to step off the path of righteousness into his snake-infested garden. That sounds dirtier than we meant it.
"Just the Way You Are" (Will to Emma)
Emma seems to have left Will behind for a dentist (to be played by John Stamos), but Will has also sworn to get her back. Perhaps his "in" could be that the new guy wants Emma to conquer her phobias, while Will doesn't think she should have to change in order to be worthy of anyone's love, prompting this love song to the guidance counselor of his heart. Eat it, Stamos!
We suppose any of the kids could develop problems in or out of school, but we can't think of anyone more perfect than Kurt to deliver this acid-tongued number about standing tall when the chips are down, in which he basically tells himself (or somebody else) to suck it up. Maybe he takes a part-time job to help out his struggling father, or he gets into a time crunch as the costume maker for the school play? We don't care, just make it happen.
"Tell Her About It" (Mercedes to Puck)
With Puck not feeling right about Quinn putting their baby up for adoption, he could open up to Quinn's new BFF Mercedes, who would promptly belt out this showstopper informing him that he should, indeed, tell Quinn about it, and possibly even tell her everything he feels.
"For the Longest Time" (Brittany)
We know that fan favorites Brittany and Santana will share a kiss this season, and while we also know that Brittany has been around the block, er, school a few times, we have a feeling that the kiss migh mean a lot more for the slow-on-the-uptake blonde than it does for Santana. An innocent love song revealing that Brittany has long harbored a crush on her fellow Cheerio would explain their inseparability, as well as demonstrate the rosy tint of the glasses through which Brittany sees the world.
"I Go To Extremes" (Santana)
Santana killed her solo in the season finale, so why not give her a real hard-rocking song this season? After she completely blows off Brittany following their kiss, the devastating effect of her callous treatment of her friend could force her to come to the startling realization that she can be a pretty major bitch, and that it's cost her more than one friendship over the years, leading her to sing this rollicking number about bipolar disorder.
"We Didn't Start the Fire" (Artie)
The textbook-reciting nature of this song makes us think about the bookish Artie, rolling down the aisles of the school library pulling tomes for a history report. Hey, it's gotta be better than "Safety Dance."
What Billy Joel song would you like to see them sing? Let us know below, then check out our dream Britney Spears set list for Glee!
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