In last night's premiere we met two millionaires -- an Upper East Side heiress who wants perfection and will be a stone cold bitch to any man who doesn't meet her expectations (this includes all men, as we found out), and an older guido who claims he'd like to settle down, but of course picks the young drunk one for his date and is then surprised that she's not a very serious person. Classic types Patti has dealt with many times in the past, but with a New York-y twinge.

Every scene involving the heiress being a petulant, pouty brat was fantastic, and extremely cathartic if you've ever lived in NYC (them bitches are everywhere), and the guido was funny (a romantic date at Stan's? Hilarious), to be sure, but I'm fairly certain we're good on TV guidos at this point. It was a fine start, but I'm hoping things get crazier, like finding a husband for Amanda Lepore, or whatever gendered mate Neckface is into.

I do hope they address what the hell happened to dead-eyed Chelsea -- I always loved her non-personality and obvious, unspoken ineptitude, though this new hot girl they've got in her place is really doing a bang-up job replacing her, at least in that last respect. I'm just wondering why I can't have both of them.

Oh, and Patti's difficulty with finding hot enough girls to send on dates is probably more due to New York not being a town people move to solely to become reality stars like L.A. is (though we of course have our share of famewhores and climbers) than the city being disproportionately ugly, but I still find it awesomely entertaining. Patti's been gone from my life way too long.

Watch a preview of an upcoming episode, featuring Chris Manzo from RHONJ here:

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