Conan has gone on record saying he won't be denied his NBC characters on his new show, even though NBC has the right to sue him to keep them all locked up in their dank-ass character dungeon. Sayeth Conan: "What I really wanna do is be sued over the bear and then appear in court with the Masturbating Bear. 'Your Honor, this bear can't help himself!'" Heh. Like NBC has any money left to sue anyone these days.

If last night's DWTS elimination of Ceiling Eyes devastated you, you have weird taste in things! Luckily for you, though, Audrina's getting her own VH1 show, which I'm refusing to watch because A) That girl needs another "R" in her last name, and B) Though it may star a boring Hills person, I know in my heart this new show will never be nearly as awesome as The City was (RIP). Boring Hills people are not all created equal, MTV Networks.

AMC is being all clever and whatnot by releasing the memoirs Roger Sterling was working on all Season 4 in real life, on November 16th. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! Ward off the tryptophan coma with the long lost chapter about Miss Blankenship as a hellcat! (But, sadly, not that kind of Hellcat.)

In other exceptionally good news, Jeff Bridges will be hosting SNL on December 18. He sure is a great performer with a long track record of being really funny and almost impossibly likable. Can't wait to see how they manage to Bryan Cranston this opportunity up!

If you're attending the Stewart/Colbert rallies this weekend, you'll be delighted to know that while there you will not be denied the right to pee somewhere really smelly and awful.

CBS is about to cancel Medium. Probably because even I didn't know it was still on, and I get paid to spend all day knowing what's on.

And this photo of past and present SNL ladies participating in an epic Real Housewives reunion sketch made me so happy I almost forgot to hate everything for a few minutes. Why hello, new desktop image and dream face-cake!