Apparently now that he and Vienna have split and all of the Dancing With the Stars opportunities have dried up, Jake Pavelka has returned to his day job. The one-time Bachelorette suitor tried to woo Jillian, failed, ended up as The Bachelor, failed to find true love and is now working for Delta Air Lines (allegedly on one of their commuter lines). We can only imagine what a flight with him would be like...
The first class bathroom will be converted into a shower
Since The Bachelor showed us that it was simply not possible for Jake to go more than five minutes without showering in slow motion, he'll have to have one in close proximity. So all Delta flights will now have a shower put in directly behind the cockpit... just for this purpose. Oh, and the in-flight movie? That will now be a live feed of Jake showering. Don't worry about flying, that's what auto-pilot is for.
He will not fly to Vienna
So much for your dream trip to Austria -- if he's behind the wheel you'll be rerouted to Germany instead.
Co-pilots will be accused of undermining him
Doesn't matter if they decided to wear a slightly different colored shirt, or add a picture of their kid to brighten up the decor. That's disrespectful behavior, and he'll repeat over and over again that they are undermining him.
New dress code
The pilot will no longer be required to wear a shirt. It would be stifling, and you'd be unable to see his abs, so he'd take it off at every opportunity.
First class upgrades with bonus roses
Don't worry about those frequent flyer miles anymore, or having to keep track of codes and passwords. All you need is low standards, a desperate desire to get married, to be famous and to be a reasonably attractive person (not necessarily in that order) and you, too, can get an upgrade. Once you take your seat in the cabin, he'll give out roses to those who he deems worthy of moving up.
Vienna will be flagged by an air marshal
Vienna Girardi, or any future exes who dare suggest that he has intimacy issues, will have their photos put on a high alert list, so getting through airport security will be a bitch.
Ignore the crying from the cockpit
If you hear tears emanating from the front of the plane, do not be alarmed. It's just Jake. He just found out that a flight attendant that had dumped him for another guy now has a boyfriend who is cheating on her. He just had to be the one to tell her in the most public and teary-eyed way possible.
His personal mission statement
Ali went from having a fear of flying to being a globetrotter in just a short bit of time with Jake. So if you see him in the lounge before you board, just tell him about your phobia and he'll personally guarantee a safe flight for you, and you can snuggle up next to him for reassurance. The FAA totally won't mind.
Chris Harrison will be making all the announcements
Since Jake will have his hands full individually providing therapy to those with a fear of heights, and showering, and doling out roses... oh, and flying the plane, he'll need someone else to make those pesky announcements for him. You know that Chris Harrison would be all over any opportunity to talk to Jake. Also, expect an hour-long recap of the details of each flight to take place immediately after disembarking, near the luggage carousels.
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