Jorge Garcia is set to play a hippie Alcatraz expert on JJ Abrams' new Fox show about, well, Alcatraz, which is now at the pilot stage. You know, the world would be a way happier place if we all had his gift of finding so many professional opportunities to say "dude" a lot.

Lots of Fox scheduling shake-ups in store for January. American Idol will now be on Wednesdays and Thursdays, Fringe is moving to Fridays (I still think they'll cancel it no matter what, but if anything could give the show a chance it's probably this), Bones is moving to 9 o'clock on Thursdays, and Christian Slater's (!!) new comedy Breaking In will get an Idol lead-in on Wednesday nights, which is an awfully big vote of confidence. You know what isn't, though? Fox has also confirmed that Running Wilde and The Good Guys will not be getting full season pick-ups. Better luck next time, all those ridiculously likable people on both those shows who deserve better.

Since it's apparently an all-Fox news day, Mia Michaels has confirmed that she won't be returning to So You Think You Can Dance next season because she's too much of an "artist" and a "visionary" (she really said that) to sit around on some reality show judging panel. Oh, for shame. Whatever shall we do without her made-up vocabulary ("murderation," anybody?) and constant hysterical crying in place of actual judging now? Seriously: Good riddance.

Shonda Rhimes would like to make a musical episode of Grey's Anatomy this season, I guess because of how Glee is really popular. Great idea! Not at all a dumb gimmick, and not at all likely to derail the dramatic progress you've made this year!

Someone sent Bristol Palin some scary powder and a threatening letter last Friday, but it turned out to be talcum powder and a really inconvenient false alarm. The DWTS studio had to be evacuated and the FBI had to devote time to figuring out what the powder was. Crazy/stupid people are just the damn worst.

In even scarier news, Kim Zolciak is spawning again. Here, look at a photo of her bare pregnant stomach! I did, even though I have no idea why I would do that to myself.