That said, some nice editing at the beginning of the episode gives me hope that there is potential because it looks like at some point there is a massive fight ... but likely not until the end of the season. Judging by coming attractions for the season, there will be plenty of drama to hold me over until that big fight. Yes, this show is trashy, and the women are horrible, but it owns it,and doesn't pretend to be anything that it isn't. It isn't like The Real World, where they used to make them have jobs, or even like Jersey Shore -- this show is just bitchy girls with bad attitudes pulling each other's extensions out by the roots and using donkey kicks to ward off any of their attacking housemates. Judge all you want, but is it any worse than wrestling or UFC tournaments? This is my version of that, and it has a believable and profanity-filled overarching storyline that I appreciate.

I hesitate doing a rundown of each and every girl and her least redeeming qualities, since most of them won't be around long enough for that to make an impact on the entire season. Just look at Jade: she had promise, with her orange hair and her Hammer pants and her inability to find bathrooms that are right in front of her. But she didn't even have the decency to get thrown out for taking one of the other bitches down. If she went out on the second day swinging, I'd have been somehow proud of this hot mess, but she didn't. She just decided to leave because this show isn't what she thought it was going to be. The show is about drinking and fighting. She did plenty of both during her short stint. What was misrepresented here?

Anyway, quick highlights of the night included Kori's gay hairdressing boyfriend cheating on her with her ex-boyfriend. (Honey. Gaydar. Get it.) And Jessica eloquently explaining that she is straight, but that any lovely lady out there who would like to provide oral sex is more than welcome. Also, she has a bias against all things hillbilly, though she just means Southern in general... I think. Hard to tell. Sydney is boring, which is ridiculous because she came in talking about how she always gets called a slut and a whore, and she didn't even try to make out with anyone. And Nikki is a football player whose dad basically encourages her to cut a bitch. Her dad is awesome. He's so proud of his asshole daughter. Good for that family.

However, the whole thing was tainted with the overwhelming sadness I felt for Char. She's on the northern end of her twenties and is still acting like an immature, spoiled five-year-old. It really isn't cute, or even fun in the scheme of trashy TV. It's just depressing. Also, she quit her job as an advertising executive to be on this show. Lady, you need some career counseling. You don't give up being the next Roger Sterling in order to go to Mexico, rub up against strippers and get your shit thrown into the pool. That is not a wise decision at all. And she just wanted everyone to get along, which, clearly was never within the realm of possibility. She's taking her role as the oldest person in the house a little too seriously and trying to make the girls act respectably. She doesn't get the point of this show, either. I feel there are remotely better reality venues for her to get her 15 minutes of fame from. Big Brother, perhaps?

Anyway, I'm sure I'll tune in for the whole season, mostly so I can watch them take swings at each other's heads during the finale and see Perez Hilton squeal in delight and horror as they nearly take him out in the process. One of these days he's going to end up unconscious on the floor because he stuck his nose into one of these fights. That hope alone will keep me going through the lame episodes where everyone just gets along.

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