It's nearly Valentine's Day and while we could delight in recalling the romantic TV couples that made us swoon in the past, or list the cute almost-couples we want to have hook up now, we've opted instead to focus on current pairings who just have no business at all being together. Perhaps we've just got cold black hearts, but we'd love to see these folks split up for everyone's sake, especially viewers like us.

Today's news brings you a pop Jeopardy question. Tia and Tamara, Sinbad, and Gabrielle Carteris... what do they all have in common? People trying to make a comeback, Alex.

Tonight marks the epic return of Ron Swanson's ex-wife Tammy on Parks and Recreation, and the episode is just one big whirlwind of crazy sex grunts, corn rows and half-shaved mustaches. I highly recommend it! To promote the event, Nick Offerman and Megan Mullally were kind enough to speak to me at 7 AM (their time -- I don't get up before 10) this morning to discuss the episode, the future of Children's Hospital, who will win The Bachelor, their poodles and other burning issues. Read on for the whole shebang.

If you saw the commercials for this new ABC sitcom featuring a bunch of people you've liked in other shows, as well as random circus clowns and Smurfs, and thought that this might be a new Arrested Development or something, you were wrong. While Mr. Sunshine strives for absurdity, it falls well short of greatness, especially considering that we're treated to the bizarreness of a show like Community on a regular basis. Even Cougar Town, the show that normally sits in this timeslot, does randomness better. And while part of me wants to say that Cougar Town took a while to get into its current groove and so maybe the world should give Sunshine some time to find its legs, I find myself far less forgiving of its goofy tone and waste of a talented cast.

If you didn't watch the first season of Justified, you missed out -- Timothy Olyphant is pretty amazing in this rural crime drama. He plays the character of Raylan Givens, a Deputy U.S. Marshal who gets transferred to his home state of Kentucky after a bad shooting, and he's all smiles and Southern "aw shucks" charm until it's time to break out the gun and the grim determination. And since his new jurisdiction includes his hometown of Harlan County, we get to watch him reconnect with various phantoms from his past, including an ex-wife, a high school flame, an old mining buddy turned radical, and his grifter father. It's fun to see how he deals with the familiar faces he meets, and to find out how he knew them in his previous life, and it makes it that much harder when he has to shoot them. The new season looks like it'll be more of the same, and I'm certainly not complaining, because the new villains are pretty dope (pun intended).

Today might be the first time I've gotten excited about any new shows all year.

Already a busy man, James Franco has been given the rights to produce an off-Broadway production of Three's Company after performing "a startling dramatic take" for the series' rights holders. While the idea of bringing a sitcom to the theater seems obvious (and has been done before), the suggestion that Franco should play a dramatic version of Jack Tripper is pure genius. But we just don't know why he couldn't have gone with something more current. There are plenty of sitcoms on television right now that would truly benefit from this treatment. Here's what we'd want to see on the Great White Way:

People in art school are actually talented? You have to work hard in college? What a completely unexpected lesson poor Liz Lee had to learn in the Season 2 premiere of My Life As Liz, which found the redhead from Texas struggling to make it in NYC (cue Jay-Z; not once, but twice). Of course, it only took a minute or two for the episode to trot out the first of many tired clichés: An effeminate hipster (wearing every color of the rainbow and shades my own 11-year-old sister wouldn't touch) passes by Liz and snarks at her outfit, "Uh, so last season." That sums up everything about the series and its titular focus: so last season.

A show about three friends in various stages of their romantic lives is not really an original idea, but I think most of us have the feeling that if done properly, a show like that could be interesting and fun. Of course, shows like that never are. We were already exposed to this once already this mid-season with Perfect Couples, a bad show that seems like it is trying too hard. After that, I thought I was ready for Traffic Light. Turns out, I wasn't. Traffic Light is not good by any means, but it isn't bad like Perfect Couples -- it's just boring and feels like it is not trying at all. With Traffic Light, we get all of the most unoriginal aspects of the three-stages set-up presented to us in the most mundane ways.

Welcome back to "Cable Showdown," where we pit two similarly themed cable shows against each other in an epic blog post cage match to settle once and for all which show rules its niche roost. For today's match-up, in the blue corner we have MTV's show about fat teens, I Used to Be Fat! And in the red corner, we have A&E's show about fat adults, Heavy! Let's list the pros and cons of each and settle ourselves a winner, shall we?