With Fringe's recent reveal that newly weaponized Peter Bishop will determine who wins the impending war between universes solely by choosing an Olivia to be with (it's a lot less stupid than that, but we're paraphrasing for brevity's sake), it seems to us that Peter shares some commonalities with another TV icon: the Bachelor. And since choosing an Olivia makes the foundation for the most dramatic inter-universe rose ceremony ever, we thought we'd run down each girl's pros and cons to help the guy decide.
Blonde: It's a cliché, but popular clichés are popular for a reason. Plus, hair dye is gross to share a bathroom with. You know Fauxlivia is the type to just splash that stuff everywhere.
Fewer Obligations Around the Holidays: Her mother's dead, she's not on speaking terms with her stepfather on account of shooting him that time and her sister and niece seem to have relocated to Mars. There'd never be an argument over where to spend Thanksgiving.
Can Travel Between Universes: Want to vacation in a Bono-free world? Sick of the film options here and want to check out Indiana Jones and the Hex of the Hydra for a change? Mixing up date night is particularly exotic with Olivia.
Photographic Memory: This could backfire at times, but considering Peter's penchant for gambling, having someone around who can just remember every single thing they see would be pretty attractive in Vegas.
Fairly Resistant to Memory Replacement Therapy: No one can hold out forever, but there's a piece of mind that comes with knowing your significant other won't just forget your entire relationship at the first threat of Walternate brainwashing technology. The fourth or fifth threat, sure, but nobody's perfect.
Multilingual: As James Bond has taught us, worldly people are sexy, and Olivia speaks both German and Arabic, for some reason.
Is Often Attacked By Shapeshifters: Killing shapeshifters is Peter's favorite!
Sometimes Has Super Powers: As a result of her Cortexiphan treatment, Olivia sometimes has bouts with telepathy and super-hearing, which is great for things like finding out if used car salesmen are trying to rip you off, or eavesdropping on the couple fighting upstairs. Less great if you're trying to keep something from her or conduct private phone calls, but you know. Relationships are a give and take.
Comes with a Lot of Baggage: She was experimented on as a child, she had an abusive home life and then she grew up to suffer a slain boyfriend whose ghost she had to repeatedly communicate with through Walter voodoo. We all know crazy chicks are hot, but how crazy is the question.
Psychically Connected to a Lot of Screwed-Up People: Olivia's mind is networked with numerous other Cortexiphan survivors, which can often be problematic, particularly if their thoughts tend to drive people to suicide. On the other hand, this can also be a pro, as it sometimes makes her want to hang out in strip clubs. Just something to think about.
About That Childhood...: She's got a crazy stepfather somewhere who is "thinking of [her]," which basically means thinking about how she shot him. This person might show up and start terrorizing you just when you've gotten comfortable with dating a woman free of nagging family problems.
Slightly Socially Inept: You two would never exactly be the life of the party at couples board game night. Or anywhere, really.
Considers Cheating on Her with Herself to Be Cheating: And she won't let it go, either, no matter what you say.
Possesses a Sense of Humor: Unlike some people (Olivia), she can make and understand human jokes. Really lifts the gloom when your job and father are as gross as Peter's are.
Expert Marksman: Useful in almost any hostile or outdoor leisure situation. Plus, chicks with guns, right? Swooooon.
Is an Olympic Medalist: Hey! You think she knows Alternate Bob Costas??
Carrying Peter's Love Child: Sure, she tricked you and then ran off to the Other Side, but if Maury has taught us anything, it's that no one likes a deadbeat dad, Peter, no matter what the circumstances.
Wears a Dress Once in a While: According to Olivia, anyway. Though we've never actually seen it.
Is a Shapeshifter Overlord: She can line 'em up, and you can knock 'em down. That's what a successful relationship is all about.
Fun at Parties: Not only would you two be the most fun couple at board game night, you'd be the life of the party everywhere you went. Hell, you'd be the life of the party at crime scenes, as Fauxlivia generally finds them pretty hilarious and rife with joke material.
Is a Bit of a Sociopath: She has real feelings for you, but that would never stop her from lying to you and waging war on all your friends.
Keeps a Diary: That's a little childish, isn't it?
Will Prostitute Herself for a Work Assignment: You don't want to end up like ol' what's-his-name, coming back from North Texas to find your girlfriend pregnant with some other universe's baby. Or some other universe's STDs, for that matter.
Supports the Genocide of Your World: Nobody ever said you have to agree with your partner on all political issues, but there are some dealbreakers.
Who would you choose if you were Peter? Sound off below!
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