Dear Kyle - Please say yes! - Love, TWoP

Bravo announced their lineup of new shows yesterday, including a New York based Million Dollar Listing spinoff, another show for Tabatha (in addition to her salon takeover series), a second show for Flipping Out's Jeff Lewis and Jenni Pulos, a show about Rachel Zoe's former assistant Brad Goreski , a fashion-based series for Project Runway alum Chris March and a dinner party-focused show for Rocco DiSpirito.

As an avid Broadway theatergoer, I've seen more than my share of terrible productions that I'd like to forget, or wish that I'd walked out of. Dance of the Vampires was always my go-to for the worst thing I'd ever had the displeasure of sitting through ... until I recently saw Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark. I'd read the heaps of stories about how awful it was, the troubles with the production, the multiple injuries, the firing of the director, etc. but I still didn't think that it could possibly be as bad as all that. I mean, in Dance, Michael Crawford belted "Total Eclipse of the Heart" and the townsfolk sang a song about garlic. And yet Spider-Man fell below my incredibly lowered expectations in completely surprising ways. Since the producers have hired a new creative team to work on the show (including scaling back on the villainess Arachne and axing the geek chorus) before its supposed June opening, I'm glad I got to witness Julie Taymor's version for the spiderfreude if nothing else. But is there a chance in hell that his show can be saved? The new team has its work cut out for it, judging by the below issues.

Today's news reminds us that reality TV franchises never die, just fade away.

FX brought out the majority of their talent at last night's upfront event, and I was able to snag a few minutes each with two of the stars of their biggest comedies -- Nick Kroll and Charlie Day -- to discuss their upcoming respective seasons of (hopeful) O.J. Simpson cameos and child pageants. Read on for all the highly inappropriate insider details.

This week, Grey's Anatomy embarks on a time-honored departure episode tradition: the musical episode. Featuring the cast singing songs that have defined the show over the years, "Song Beneath the Song" takes place in Callie's post-car-accident mind, so though the episode may be a risk, at least it'll all be just a dream (I'm guessing) in the end. To promote the big event, I talked to Little Grey herself, Chyler Leigh, about the songs, the grind of doing a series for seven long years, Lexie's new relationship with Avery and more. Read on for the whole shebang.

Kurt Sutter may not like it, but yesterday he created a small media firestorm by tweeting some seemingly critical comments about Matthew Weiner's ongoing negotiations with AMC on the same day that he'd be subjected to the press at FX's upfront presentation. I talked to the Sons of Anarchy creator at the party last night, and though he was typically tight-lipped about SOA spoilers, he certainly had something more to say about Matt Weiner's Mad Men situation. Read on for my brief conversation with the world's most entertaining showrunner.

Last night, FX held their NYC upfront event for advertisers and the press, and while it was star-studded (they impressively brought out almost all their talent for interviews, which I'll be posting later today), the content portion of the presentation was pretty light on new show information. I saw a 30-second trailer for the Elijah Wood comedy Wilfred, and then network president John Landgraf kind of ran down a few details of other shows they've got in the works for the next 12 months, most of which were reported on in the trades months ago. Here are my impressions of what I heard and saw, based on almost no new information whatsoever.

ABC debuted its new spring show Body of Proof last night, and as far as crime-solving procedurals go, it's perfectly fine. It's not edgy or breaking any new ground, but it's got some interesting ideas and characters forming, and at least it isn't yet another Law & Order/CSI/NCIS spinoff. And I tend to like Dana Delany, even when she is portraying a mix of Dr. Gregory House and Dr. Temperance Brennan. If anyone can make that work, she can. And since both House and Bones are annoying me for different reasons right now, a show that falls somewhere in between the two might actually be watchable.

It's a good week to be Sir Elton John. The contestants on American Idol will be singing his songs this week and the man himself will be hosting (not just performing on, hosting) Saturday Night Live this weekend. I'd say that's great corporate synergy, but the shows are on two different networks, so I'll just assume that Elton John is launching some sort of all-out assault on network television. After upping his fame among the youngfolk on Idol, then demonstrating his acting chops on SNL, what else could be next besides making a play for his own primetime TV series? We scanned his back catalog to find song titles that might come in handy when it comes time to name his sitcom, or even his crime drama.