In one of the least dramatic Celebrity Apprentice eliminations ever, Niki Taylor was fired last Sunday after shrugging all the blame for her team's loss onto her own shoulders so efficiently, there wasn't even a need to bring anybody with her into the final boardroom. It was quick, painless and kind of shockingly apathetic. To defend whatever it was that made her do that, Niki participated in a media call this week, and basically used the opportunity to discuss (accurately, but still) what a heinous bitch Dionne Warwick is. Tell me something I don't know, lady! Read on for the catty highlights.

Parks and Recreation is consistently an immensely enjoyable sitcom, but every once in a while, they really kill it. Last night's "Camping" episode was such a home run on every possible level -- comedy writing, character writing, plot advancement -- that I thought I should call out its excellence in some way. (Sometimes we get so wrapped up in praising the brilliant Community we forget to give P&R the love it deserves.) While there were great visual gags, like just about everything in Tom Haverford's SkyMall tent (DJ Roomba lives!), and lovely character moments between Ron and Leslie, April and Andy and an innkeeper and her cats, I've decided to go with a simple round-up of the best lines of the night.

With the cable networks announcing their new lineups, and just a general glut of reality programming on the airwaves, there seems to be more familiar-sounding unscripted shows than ever before. While we might enjoy some of the original versions, all of these knock-offs and spinoffs are getting to be a bit much. So we're asking (no, pleading) that these subjects officially be off limits for any future reality series.

Happy Spring! It's snowing! Slow news day, but Chris Brown outbursts are always a good laugh, right?

Spring supposedly started this week (despite the snow out my window), and the upfronts are just starting to bloom

Last night Syfy invited the press and advertisers to learn about their new shows, and see a private performance of the Broadway debacle Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark (that will be getting its own entirely separate review, because I can't even begin to squish all my thoughts on that in here). Anyway, there was the usual hobnobbing, and then Syfy President Dave Howe took to the stage, along with a flipping costumed Spider-Man to unveil their multitude of new shows. We saw clips of a lot of them, and there's some potential... of course, there are more shows about ghosts (because, of course) and also even more cheesy original films coming our way in the next year.

If you are any kind of Top Chef fan, you'll remember Marcel Vigneron as the largely annoying, pompous jerk who was so irksome to his fellow chefs, that at one point they held him down and tried to shave his head. Not exactly cool or condoned behavior, but there's something about Marcel that rubs people the wrong way. That said, aside from the still cocky attitude on Top Chef: All-Stars, Marcel seems to have calmed down a bit since his first reality outing, and here on his own cooking show he appears even more aware of how he's perceived. He's still got kind of a crazy, know-it-all control freak vibe, but on a show that focuses on his catering and explaining molecular gastronomy to the masses, it actually works to his advantage.

While some mostly original content has been on IFC for the past few years, over the past few months the channel has worked hard to place more of these shows front and center on its schedule. They've changed their logo, given us Portlandia, and today they threw down the gauntlet by having their very first honest-to-goodness upfront. While most channels work to produce huge spectacles to wow reporters and advertisers, today IFC gave us a chill laid back presentation fitting for a post-SXSW week. The whole event was so subdued that even Suzanne Sena opening the presentation in her Onion News Network persona, Brooke Alvarez, wasn't even annoying. We were then told just how cool IFC is and how it is working to "curate alternative comedy," so that we would know that even though they were holding an upfront they still were proud to be serving their own spot in television the "media of the niches." Even if they were almost too chill, I have to give them credit for not overusing buzz words like "authentic." After a pithy rundown of the new shows, Fred Armisen was brought out as if a bird to be put on a tote bag to announce that they will beginning writing the next season of Portlandia in April.

For William Shatner, today's his birthday. For the Internet, it's Talk Like William Shatner Day! So imagine all of today's news as if presented to you by Captain Kirk.

If you missed last summer's gay farming sensation The Fabulous Beekman Boys (and you likely did, as it's on Discovery property Planet Green, which no one has heard of), I highly recommend jumping into the show's second season premiere tonight. The show, about a gay couple from NYC trying to maintain a farm in the country, is some of the most enjoyable light entertainment on television, and whether you're into gay shows or goat shows, it's got a little something for everyone.