Next time you shoot a man with a paintball gun, Freckles, you better make sure they got paint on them.

After hearing how bad The Situation was when they taped this roast, I was dreading it, and, well, for his part he totally bombed. Completely. There was deafening silence as he delivered his clunkers which turned to extremely vocal boos during the course of his few minute stint. Jeff Ross tried in vain to assist him, but it was too late, Sitch's comedy career was dead on arrival. However, I'd love it if he was at future roasts, not to deliver any of his own "zingers," but because he was the butt of more jokes than Trump himself. Fair warning, the content below is not for the faint of heart, or really anyone who doesn't have a sense of humor.

Here we go again.

With the NFL labor dispute going from bad to worse on Friday with Tom Brady vs. the NFL being filed (and several other players filing suit shortly after), we have to consider the possibility of a shortened or even non-existent (not likely, but not impossible, either) pro football season come fall. If that happens, what will the star players and coaches do with all that free time? Relax? Spend time with their families? Lounge poolside and count their money? Probably, but on the off-chance that they want to keep their profiles elevated without getting arrested for something, they could also guest-star on these appropriate TV shows.

You're going to wish you had a utility belt with a DVD player this week.

Good-bye, Miss Ashthon Jones, we hardly knew ye. No, seriously, we didn't know very much about you, since you're the first person to go home from American Idol's Top 13 this year. We know that you didn't have the votes to make that Top 13 on your own, that your personal idol is Diana Ross, and that you spell your name funny, but otherwise nada. We sat in on a conference call with Miss Jones to find out more about her, and to see where she sees her career going now that she's quit her job.

I smell a new reality series -- The Escape Hatch, where we follow Richard Hatch as he tries to break out of prison.

Amid much turmoil, Sister Wives returned for Season 2 last night, in a weird timeline mind-meld episode that took place all the way back in the "coming out" Today Show interview they taped before Season 1 premiered last September. And Truely was there, so I guess they filmed the entire first season before that interview, aired the season, and are only addressing the aftermath of that moment now. It broke my brain a little, but I figured it out. Apparently you have to be a damn logistical genius to watch TLC.

Why is it that this show has trouble doing funny sketches with actual comedians? Like the episode with Bryan Cranston, this one had a solid opening and a few entertaining moments, but it mostly fell flat. Even Zach bizarrely shaving his head just in time for the sign-off couldn't save an episode that fittingly closed with a sketch about the Titanic.

Billy Ray Cyrus will make a guest appearance on The View. This is a fantastic blood bath waiting to go down...