It's a good week to be Sir Elton John. The contestants on American Idol will be singing his songs this week and the man himself will be hosting (not just performing on, hosting) Saturday Night Live this weekend. I'd say that's great corporate synergy, but the shows are on two different networks, so I'll just assume that Elton John is launching some sort of all-out assault on network television. After upping his fame among the youngfolk on Idol, then demonstrating his acting chops on SNL, what else could be next besides making a play for his own primetime TV series? We scanned his back catalog to find song titles that might come in handy when it comes time to name his sitcom, or even his crime drama.
This sitcom would take place in Croctown, a crocodile theme park in Florida, and follow the staff of the park's cocktail lounge, The Reptile Room, as they try to achieve their unobtainable dreams. Starring Sir Elton as the washed-up piano player who once had a number one hit and now sings it to tourists, but who longs to return to the spotlight.
The Bitch is Back
Just like in Samantha Who?, the bitchy, brilliant head of a fashion house (Sir Elton) gets hit on the head and becomes a nice but not terribly creative person for five years, during which his company loses its customers. But in episode two, another head injury brings him back to full bitchiness, and he sets about reclaiming his empire with amazing clothes and vicious barbs.
Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me
A sleepy town in upstate New York learns to fear the dark when someone buys the big mansion on the outskirts of town and people begin to go missing. The metropolitan new owner (Sir Elton) introduces himself at an evening town hall meeting, and while he manages to charm the mayor and most of the locals into thinking he's come to reverse the town's fortunes, one old-timer sees him for what he is: a vampire!
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road
A man (Sir Elton) drops out of the sky in a cornfield in Kansas; he has no money in his pockets, but several fantastical devices whose technology verges on magic. Making some cash by providing medical services to the locals, he rents a room in the town. Some of the townspeople think he's an alien, but when strange things start appearing around town -- talking trees, winged monkeys, coma-inducing poppies -- they come to him for help. He won't tell them his name, but he says they can call him... the Doctor. No, wait, the Wizard. Call him the Wizard.
I'm Still Standing
After a hurricane tears through his Missouri town, a nightclub owner (Sir Elton) who was the focus of much town ire when he opened shop now finds himself with one of the few structures remaining upright. As he opens his building up to emergency services and homeless neighbors, they get to know him a little bit better. And at night, they all work at his club to pay the rent.
Which Elton John show would you most like to watch? Let us know below, and suggest your own!
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