I smell a new reality series -- The Escape Hatch, where we follow Richard Hatch as he tries to break out of prison.
It's official -- Richard Hatch is going back to jail, which means he won't be at the Celebrity Apprentice finale. You can't tell, but my keyboard is stained with tears right now. Such a kind, gentle man.
Were you worried that humanity might be evolving? Good news -- we're not. The Bachelor, The Bachelorette and Bachelor Pad have been renewed. Give it another year of near constant Bachelor-themed programming, and none of us will be walking upright.
In even more depressing renewal news, there will probably be a seventh season of Supernatural. Because why quit when the sharks are already in the rearview?
HBO is going back to the 1980s for Reds, a series about Russian spies. Ah, yes, the good old days, when spies were a serious threat towards our way of life, before everything could be found on Wikipedia.
Pilot casting news:
- Cheryl Hines must have done something wrong, because she's joining Alan Tudyk and Jeremy Sisto in Suburgatory. But seriously, that cast sounds fun.
- Paget Brewster has joined My Life as an Experiment, and will no longer be a regular on Criminal Minds if it goes to series. We'd be fine with that.
- Scott Foley, Kyle MacLachlan and Michael Boatman will join Christine Lahti in The Doctor, mostly playing doctors. Doctor? Doctor.
Looks like we'll have to wait a little longer to do the dinosaur -- Terra Nova has been delayed until fall, meaning no May preview episodes. What a Jurassic letdown.
Because America needs more shows about losing weight, Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition will debut May 30. Frankly, we're surprised they found any obese people left to makeover, now that so many of them have been big losers, shed for their wedding or danced their asses off.
In what may be the weirdest news item ever, Larry King may become a commentator on The Daily Show, a la Lewis Black. The King is back, baby! Today The Daily Show, tomorrow a lucrative pistachio-shilling contract!
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