BLOGS

Why Stop With Charlie Sheen? We Suggest New Showrunners for Two and a Half Men

Before CBS officially fired Charlie Sheen this week, there had been some talk that maybe Chuck Lorre could step away from day-to-day production of Two and a Half Men as a way of keeping the peace if Charlie were to come back. We here at TWoP still think the idea of getting rid of Lorre is pretty good, even if Sheen is already gone, and we have some suggestions about who should replace both of them.

Removing Lorre as showrunner would give Men and its fans a chance to remember Charlie Sheen for those eight years he turned tin cans to gold, while making sure that, by the time the new season starts, everything about Sheen's crazy behavior will be so deep in the show's Wikipedia article that no one bothers to vandalize it. Besides, Men is going on nine years now, and, honestly, Lorre has been scratching the sides of the idea barrel since the middle of the second season. A new showrunner would have fresh ideas and be more willing to change things up, by doing things like actually making an effort to realize that the Half-Man can almost be rounded up at this point. This shake-up would also probably force some of the show's characters away from only ever making creepy vaguely misogynistic jokes toward actually acting something like real people, causing any of us who had written off the show before to take note.

Joss Whedon
It would be surprising how close Whedon would follow the show's original formula, at first. He would bring in his old Buffy/Angel cast member Alexis Denisof to replace Charlie as a character very similar to Denisof's on How I Met Your Mother (but not bald). However, as the show went on, we would find out that Denisof has actually been sent to protect the Half-Man from the government, who wants to use his hidden superpowers for evil.

David Simon
Malibu isn't all jingle writing and loose women. There is a dark and gritty side to it all that the men find out about as they try to help former dealer Andre "Bubbles" Royo clean up and fight the system after the loss of his biggest client, Charlie, causes him to fall on hard times.

Seth MacFarlane
Playing the long-lost other brother of the men, MacFarlane would spend the whole episode remembering the '80s. All of his stories would be complete with cuts to Sheen's old movies with MacFarlane and Jon Cryer edited in.

Aaron Sorkin
Sorkin could easily cast Bradley Whitford as Charlie's former writing partner who split off from Charlie because he wanted to be taken more seriously. We should then all be prepared for discussions of class relations with the housekeeper.

Dan Harmon
Seeing that the show isn't self-aware enough, Harmon would slowly allow the remaining men to begin to see how constructed their world is. Cast Dino Stamatopoulos (a.k.a. Star-burns) as the Half-Man's new music instructor who seems oddly okay with the way the world is falling apart and suddenly the most awesome absurdist drama is complete.

Shonda Rhimes
Bringing in Rhimes would turn the show around a full 180 degrees. Now the lead, played by Jason George, would spend each episode looking for that one special love while trying to gain perspective and strength from his character failings. The Half-Man would also be forced to suffer numerous exotic illnesses, including one that keeps him from ever being able to grow up.

Ryan Murphy
Murphy would mix things up by casting Leslie Grossman, Mary Cherry on Popular, to be the second "man." Murphy would be proud to point to her sleeping around and general Charlie-like behavior as some kind of moral statement for all the kids who watch the show.

J.J. Abrams
Suddenly, everyone would have daddy issues, and Greg Grunberg would be cast so he would quit asking Abrams for a part in the next Star Trek movie.

Kevin Williamson
Williamson would move the show to The CW (where his soul is bound) and cast James Van Der Beek as a womanizer who just can't seem to find the one. Also, he can see ghosts.

Who do you think should take over the show or replace Sheen? Let us know what you think below.

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17 Comments

March 8, 2011 5:59 PM
mimado98
Reply

Mitch Hurwitz takes over the show. Gob Bluth and Franklin take over Charlie's business, making millions with the hemorrhoids jingle, "Your Cracker Ass"

March 8, 2011 6:46 PM
Nemesis
Reply

Or maybe they could just cancel this piece-of-crap show that was never worth watching to begin with...

Just a thought.

March 8, 2011 7:01 PM
Ben
Reply

Boy, this is an exception to the usually interesting Telefile stories, because this one is BRAIN-DEAD. Did anyone ever seriously talk about removing Chuck Lorre from his show's set to placate Charlie Sheen, seriously? And none of the reasons given for bringing in other producers to run things were funny or intelligent. I don't understand why this piece took the POV that was more or less defending Charlie Sheen and trying to give advice to a show that this site has made clear they abhor. They should have 1 more season of 2A1/2M as a victory lap for everyone but Sheen and then call it a day.

March 8, 2011 7:14 PM
JJSmith
Reply

You folks at TWOP have an axe to grind with Lorre because you believe (rightly) that Two and a Half Men is drek. However, Lorre is also showrunner for The Big Bang Theory which is quite enjoyable.

March 9, 2011 1:48 AM
evolved mind
Reply

CHARLIE SHEEN should take over as showrunner after he wins his lawsuit against Chuck Lorre for Lorre's illegal behavior in breaching Charlie's contract. Lorre should be made to legally forfeit all his rights in the show to Sheen.

March 9, 2011 11:19 AM
Ben
Reply
replied to comment from evolved mind

Hi Charlie! Nice of you to join us!

March 10, 2011 11:52 AM
Gina
Reply

For a stuntcast, replace Charlie with Jude Law--maybe they are doing a job/home swap and Charlie never mentioned the brother/nephew. Or, have Herb move in due to marital problems with Judith.

March 10, 2011 7:32 PM
garyc
Reply

Wouldn't wish it on him, but Taylor Kitsch could be good as a younger version of Charlie Sheen's character. Cousin?

March 10, 2011 7:54 PM
Jerry
Reply

I'm down with Nemesis on this one. EUTHANIZE it and move on.

March 11, 2011 10:17 AM
Invader Toph
Reply

I agree. This show should've been canceled years ago. It hasn't been funny since...well, ever and it needs to stop so Lorre can stop recycling plots from 2 1/2 men on the Big Bang Theory.

March 12, 2011 4:24 AM
Fen
Reply

Haven't watched the show for years. Charlie Sheen was bad then and is unwatchable now. Why do people think that a man who abuses women is anything other than a criminal?

September 19, 2011 5:07 AM
WebCam Show
Reply

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September 24, 2011 4:39 AM
Webcam Males
Reply

We can never get enough of each other, give us a new idea how we could get even more out of ourselves.

February 27, 2012 4:49 PM
Caleb
Reply

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February 27, 2012 4:49 PM
Charles
Reply

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February 27, 2012 4:49 PM
Eric
Reply

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April 28, 2012 2:38 PM
Pelt
Reply

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