They could've called this The Real Housewives of Staten Island, but despite all appearances to a similar franchise on another network, this is VH1, and I guess Mob Wives is a catchier title. Then again, Renee Graziano (clearly the star of this hot mess) tries to deny the existence of the mob, but then speaks at length about the code of the "underworld" and how her father always got her gifts that fell off the back of a truck. There's some careful parsing of language here, but besides that and learning about hating "rats," the first episode didn't have a lot to offer.

Suffering from insomnia? Don't look to infomercials for a pricey cure -- just watch VH1's reality series Audrina. Chances are, you'll be fast asleep long before their other terrible new show, Saddle Ranch, ever begins. Don't worry, you won't be missing anything.

iCarly's high ratings garner another season, but One Life to Live and All My Children get cancelled after 40 years. Should any fact define the state of television programming, this might be it...

Last week, The CW re-aired the pilot for Smallville to lead into the final episodes of the series, and it just made me nostalgic for the show's early days. This comic-book-inspired show had so much potential and plenty of charm back then, infusing high school drama with sci-fi twists. Obviously, things have changed since then, and not for the better. Here's what we miss the most:

It's Friday, which means it's once again time to crown the most heinous reality star of the week! Just like last week, I'll state the case for my top five nominees and then choose a winner based on a highly scientific process of deeming who is the most egregiously awful. The big question this week: Can anyone out-horrible Donald Trump? These four jerks are going to try!

For those two people on the planet who were anxiously awaiting Paul Reiser's triumphant return to the sitcom world after Mad About You, keep waiting, because this new series isn't remotely amusing. In fact, it's dreadful, which basically renders the plot of the pilot episode moot, as it focused on Reiser turning down a game show gig that he deemed beneath him. So subpar "comedy" is okay, but a twisted new game show is somehow selling out?

It's that time of year when networks are finalizing their fall line-ups and deciding which current shows to keep or cancel. And while we'd like to see underrated procedural Detroit 1-8-7 get another chance, as well as the ridiculous, nonsensical guilty pleasure Off the Map continue, there are a plenty of other "bubble" shows that truly deserve to get their bubbles burst, freeing their casts and producers to seek better luck elsewhere. Here are the ones that most need to be axed, for everyone's sake:

Who needs a produced pilot when your YouTube videos can become TV shows themselves?

It's nice to watch a sitcom about a group of 30-somethingish friends that isn't trying to make everything about relationship dynamics and overt gender politics. Instead of these themes, which have over-saturated this season's broadcast networks' new comedies, Happy Endings seems perfectly content to have no specific agenda other than to let its actors be funny. This makes it an easy-to-watch sitcom about a group of friends who may be broad in their characterizations, but still strangely relatable.

As we all know the place for our most important political officials is on daytime television.