I think we might just have found the winner for best May sweeps guest star.

If you found previous versions of King Arthur/Camelot lore lacking in salaciousness, naked breasts and full-on shape-shifting rape, this just might be the version of Camelot for you. Of course, I prefer the one with some singing but hey, to each their own. The dialogue here is laughable, the costumes are ridiculous and the acting is totally over the top. In other words, just another quality program from Starz. At least Spartacus had the decency to be good and bloody; this one doesn't have its first battle until at least halfway through the premiere episode, and even then it's only a brief sword fight. It wasn't until the very end that we got a halfway decent gory shot. Disappointing.

Elton John did double duty as SNL host and musical guest this weekend, and while it was at times an unmitigated disaster, for the most part it was just dull, despite a few bright spots. One thing is for sure, though: Elton's forte is not stand-up, as his opening monologue was filled with predictable and corny jokes about being gay and not being able to get pregnant.

Because I rag on CBS procedurals a lot, I'm always happy to see a show that's a little quirky try to break through the genre's conventions, but Chaos is just quirky for quirky's sake, which annoys me on a whole different level. Especially since the show can't make up its mind if we're supposed to take these heroes seriously or not, considering they end up being somewhat competent at the end of the day. It's like if everyone on this series is a variation on Michael Scott, with no voice of reason to balance them out.

Like The Tudors before it, the newest Showtime series tackles history by making it very sexy looking and filled with murderous plots. While I don't remember this particular Pope from my CCD days, I'm quite sure that my ears would have perked up if I had heard about a Vatican filled with backstabbing, bribery and scores of illegitimate children. It's probably not a story you want to tell 12-year-olds, but definitely a solid basis for a cable TV series.

You didn't really believe Don Draper would ever actually leave you, did you?

I'm so glad this Mobbed show exists just so all of the things that horrify and upset me can live in one place where I can just ignore them collectively. It's very convenient. And after watching this one episode, I don't ever need to see another because I think I'm kind of scarred for life.

When we heard about some recent developments in the world of television, we truly thought -- or at least hoped -- that they were actually just early April Fool's Day jokes. Alas, as far as we know, all of these are really happening, or have already occurred, much to our dismay.