Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott reality shows are among my biggest, most shameful guilty pleasures, but here's the thing with sTORIbook Weddings (I mean other than the spelling of the title): I take my wedding shows very seriously. I want high drama when it comes to these things, and I want spoiled, demanding, ludicrously unreasonable brides. Preferably ones who constantly speak of wanting to be a princess with no irony whatsoever. So for me, this show's emphasis on sentimentality and lack of real wedding planning disasters leaves me with little reason to watch it past last night's premiere. Bridezillas this most definitely is not. Hell, it's not even Say Yes to the Dress. Not to mention how random it is -- what business do Tori and Dean even have planning weddings to begin with? It's even more bizarre than that time they ran an inn for five minutes.
The show focuses on one wedding per episode, and taking a page from David Tutera, each wedding has a ridiculous theme. Last night's was pug-themed, which is ridiculous and childish, sure, but unfortunately not nearly ridiculous enough. When the show you're ripping off has had a swamp wedding, you really need to go above and beyond to validate what you're doing. Pugs, cute as they are, ain't exactly the way to bulldoze your competition in this situation.
I couldn't tell from the pilot how much of the actual planning Tori and Dean are doing themselves (I'd imagine very little, but it's odd they didn't bother trying to sell the lie), and it was weird that they didn't mention whether or not all this stuff was gratis to the bride and groom, when that's a big part of My Fair Wedding. And then there's the drama, which was almost nonexistent. A briefly bitchy mother and sister of the bride, some boxes for the ceremony that were ordered slightly too big and a forgotten aisle runner that the bride ended up not even wanting anyway is pretty boring, especially when compared to sTORIbook's peers. The only thing I'll probably remember from this episode (and show) is how Tori made the bride open up her fiancé's lingerie gift in front of her mother. I love you, but that's gross, Tori. You stop.
So this didn't really work out, but there has to be a different profession for these two to tackle for their next reality show. Tori and Dean buy the contents of storage lockers at auction? Tori and Dean run a pawn shop? Tori and Dean help fat teenagers lose weight? Honestly, I bet they'd run through each and every one of these trends if they could. God love 'em.
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