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Celebrity Wife Swap: Swaps We Need to See

Because we need a celebrity version of everything, ABC has ordered Celebrity Wife Swap, wherein celebrities from opposing walks of life will switch spouses for a week in the same chaste extended key party format as the regular people edition -- but better! Rumor has it the show is gunning for SNL alum and noted homophobe Victoria Jackson for an episode, so I think it's safe to say they're really reaching for the crazy stars here. And since I live to help the networks with these kinds of things, here are some fun swap ideas I know I for one would watch the hell out of.

Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin with... Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon!
Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne with... Sister Wives' Meri, Janelle, Christine, Robyn and Kody Brown!
Donald and Melania Trump with... The Fabulous Beekman Boys!
Rob and Amber Mariano with... Elisabeth and Tim Hasselbeck!
Katy Perry and Russell Brand with... Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar!
Sarah and Todd Palin with... Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi!
Kendra Wilkinson and Hank Baskett with... James Carville and Mary Matalin!
Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag with... The Real Housewives of New Jersey's Teresa and Joe Giudice!
Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom with... Matt and Amy Roloff!
Kathie Lee and Frank Gifford with... Randy and Evi Quaid!

Your dream celebrity wife swaps? Stop worrying about how weird this whole concept is and just leave your bids in the comments!

34 Comments

May 5, 2011 8:32 AM
Uncle Igmar
Reply

1st of all - ABC needs to limit this to people who are actual stars - reality show attention whores (anyone named Kardashian or who is a "Real" Housewife to start) - which kind of lays waste to your list.

The second limitation would be that the stars need to be relevant - meaning they have actually done something within the past 2 or 3 years on TV or in the movies as actors - unlike Victoria Jackson.

May 5, 2011 9:11 AM
HN
Reply
replied to comment from Uncle Igmar

Have you watched TV at all in the last 10 years?

May 5, 2011 9:37 AM
i give up
Reply

Oh god, I hate myself. I'd watch all those episodes.

May 5, 2011 10:26 AM
Uncle Igmar
Reply
replied to comment from HN

Yes I have and I have no time for those talentless cretins. I mean what is Khloe Kardashian's talent? Actually marrying a pro athlete - as opposed to her sister who just runs through a string of them?

Spencer Pratt's talent? Growing a creepy beard and supposedly becoming "saved" in a jungle? His wife's talent?? Silicone repository?

I would, on the other hand, like to see Portia De Rossi running around Wasilla trying to find vegetarian food amongst all the moose jerky displays and hunting rifles own at the general store. I actually have no idea if Portia is a vegetarian - just a gut feeling.

If ABC decides to dip into this cesspool of Z List "stars" then they need to preceed every broadcast with the foloing voiceover: "We scoured the dregs of reality TV for couples to participate in this farce and this is the lineup for this Summer's "Wife Swap-Attention Whore Edition" . . . . . ."

May 5, 2011 11:04 AM
HN
Reply
replied to comment from Uncle Igmar

"If ABC decides to dip into this cesspool..."

You mean when.

The celebrities with talent use that talent to get real work, thus not needing a show like this to stay in the public eye. Having someone relevant on this show would create a paradox that would destroy the universe.

May 5, 2011 12:08 PM
gingersmom
Reply

Four people on this list are actually celebrities and two of them have talent. Feel free to debate who you think they are. I'm sure two of them wouldn't do it, but one would, and the other is wild card. I really wish reality tv would go away.

May 5, 2011 1:27 PM
Nemesis
Reply
replied to comment from gingersmom

Yes. More procedurals with crap character development, please! Anti-reality TV snobs who lump all shows in the genre into one big monolithic entity are boring. Competitive reality shows are no different than sports. In fact, they're far more compelling than many so-called sports (golf, anyone?). Now, so-called "candid" reality shows? That's where I'll agree with you. They're a waste of air time.

May 5, 2011 1:37 PM
Coco
Reply

But won't Celebrity Wife Swap, like regular Wife Swap, only select wives with children? Do all the people on your list have kids?

May 5, 2011 2:47 PM
Uncle Igmar
Reply
replied to comment from HN

I totally agree - it just makes me nuts that these talentless clowns are raking in the cash for being complete (insert your own expletive here)!

I know that in in thend it's not really their fault - or even the money people behind these shows - but the idiots who actually watch that trash.

May 5, 2011 3:25 PM
Uncle Igmar
Reply
replied to comment from Nemesis

Competitive reality shows are totally different - Survivor - the Amazing Race - Project Runway - those people may want to be famous - but at least they are famous for doing something - even if it's as silly as winning those shows. They had to show some skills.

But the shows that make stars of the idle rich (any of the Housewives shows), idiotic fashion consultants, real estate agents, and the latest stupidity, a flippin preganancy concierge don't deserve to be considered "stars".

May 5, 2011 3:27 PM
gingersmom
Reply
replied to comment from Nemesis

I wasn't insulting people who like reality tv. I just don't personally like it. I know there's a difference between Jersey Shore and The Amazing Race. I know there's not a lot of originality with scripted tv but reality tv is getting the same way. I don't need four shows trying to find the next big star. Watching people sing is just as boring to me as baseball. I'm not a snob, I just don't find the shows interesting.

May 5, 2011 4:01 PM
lebanese
Reply

Wait - Spencer and Heidi are still married?

Also, I don't think Portia/Ellen deserve even one minute with this horrible woman! It would be funny, especially if they tried to talk sense into her, but she'd never listen to anything that's not white, straight, conservative and yells "Obama is an African terrorist! God hates abortions!", so maybe some slapping for entertainment value?
Alternative: Donald Trump gets either Ellen or Sarah Palin. Ellen, so she'd have new comedy material and Sarah just to see if they'd hook up and leave their partners to be the world's most gross couple together.

May 5, 2011 5:12 PM
lord tubbington
Reply

Lamar & Khloe vs. the Roloffs is the first truly LOL moment I've ever had while reading anything written by Mindy.

May 5, 2011 7:18 PM
Kristen
Reply
replied to comment from Uncle Igmar

I'm curious as to how you expect the show to lure non-reality stars onto a reality program.

To Mindy--HA! and the one with the Roloffs!

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