BLOGS
With another regular television season coming to a close just in time for the Memorial Day weekend, we'd like to hold a memorial of our own for all of the characters and other elements that we'll miss the most from this year's ridiculously robust round of cancelled and concluded shows. Important note, however: This list is just about shows from the 2010-2011 season, so no putting, like, Firefly people or whatever in the comments, please. We know you'll want to, but just try to resist.
10. The Punctuation of $#*! My Dad Says
I understand it was very frustrating for a lot of critics, but we didn't cover that show, so what do I care? It was hysterical that a network had a show on in primetime that couldn't be pronounced without censorship, plus, just look at that title: isn't it just so colorful? I'll miss looking at it, and having nothing further to do it with it whatsoever.
9. Chloe, Smallville
She was, by all accounts, the only consistently enjoyable thing about this show's ten-year run. And that's even with that series of HGTV haircuts she had for the majority of it. That is some seriously formidable likeability.
8. Marti's Half-Shirts, Hellcats
Hellcats was my favorite surprise guilty pleasure of the season (and I'm only slightly ashamed to admit it), so I'll miss many things about it, but mocking Marti's complete inability to cover the lower half of her torso is what I'll probably be most sorry to do without next fall. Drunk, slutty Gail O'Grady is a closer runner-up, however.
7. The Gross Novelty Items from Outsourced
You already know how we felt about this series so I won't rehash it, but one thing that was always delightful was seeing how many variations on dumb American novelty products they featured. I definitely never would have thought to purchase a "farting fanny bank" before I saw it on this show, and now it's literally the centerpiece at all of my dinner parties.
6. Cash, Breaking In
Because he was funny, he was obsessed with Star Wars and he elevated every episode of this underrated (in all senses of the word) sitcom with his inventive sci-fi references and unabashed, infectious geekiness. That's it. We're really not as hard to please as people might think.
5. The Portal, The Event
This show was comically bad on every level, but every once in a while these half-wit aliens would get it together enough to suck entire buildings or jets into a blue transport portal/vortex thingy, and even with the less-than-state-of-the-art CGI, it was always awesome. The only awesome thing about the show, sadly.
4. The Drunken Dinner Parties of Brothers & Sisters
Oh, how we will miss the Walkers, a family of wine guzzling, no inner-monologue-having, unimaginably mean drunks. Every time they sat down to a meal together, they ended up deeply insulting each other while sloshing wine everywhere, and it was a beautiful thing. That's family.
3. The Skinnings of V
This show was woefully lacking in action or real stakes of any kind, but every so often, a lizard person would piss Anna off enough that she would order them skinned. And then the camera would linger on it, forcing us to watch each and every slice. It was like Saw, but with terrible special effects and even less character development.
2. Plastics, Off the Map
Friday Night Lights' Matt Saracen grew up to become an adorably cocky doctor on this show, and even though his character was kind of a moron -- his main storyline was that he was unable to learn even the most basic Spanish while A) living in a Spanish-speaking country, and B) being hopelessly in love with a local girl who didn't speak any English -- Zach Gilford's charms made him endearing through it all. Even when he was having casual sex with tourists in public showers, and that's the germiest thing in the whole wide world.
1. Fitch, Detroit 1-8-7
It's true that there are too many cop shows on TV right now, but very few of them are as good as this one was. Watching "Christophuh" (Michael Imperioli) play a fascinating, mysterious detective -- a completely different character than we've ever seen him play before, even on Life on Mars -- was the stuff of Emmy dreams, stunted by tiny ratings and an unceremonious cancellation. If life were just a little bit fairer, this show would have gotten the Southland treatment.
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Who on Earth found Chloe's destructive and narcissistic antics entertaining for 10 years? In the last few seasons she was a straight-up villain but the show didn't even acknowledge it. I will not miss her or Allison Mack's cutesy overacting at all.
Tess, Lois, and Clark were easily the best characters on that show, and the only ones I will even slightly mourn.
Cloe/Allison Mack? Really? She and Lois were the reasons I stopped watching. Too cutesy-quirky, it was really painfully to watch!
How on earth did Cash from "Breaking In" make this list?!? He was the Jar Jar Binks of that show and easily the worst thing about it.
Detroit 1-8-7 was the only show this season whose cancellation disappointed me. Fitch was a compelling character, and I thought it was pretty good overall.
I wanted to give Detroit 1-8-7 a chance. I watched the first episode, and told myself I'd watch more, but I just couldn't do it. Imperioli was the worst thing about the show, or the perfect example of the pretentions of the show. "HEY! LOOK AT ME! I'M ACTING!"
Chloe may have been "cutesy", but I'll take that over Lois' "b*tch on wheels" Lane, who ruined the show for me.
I agree with you about Chloe. She was the only consistent thing about Smallville - her character evolved more than any other and she was always there to rein Clark in. The direness of Season Ten for me was due to the lack of Chloe, and saved only by Tess.
Allison Mack brought so much warmth and passion to a character that could have easily been unlikeable but, mainly down to Allison, became a legend.
A legend in her own mind, perhaps.
But "b*tch on wheels" is exactly who Lois Lane should have been. If that's what put you off the show, shouldn't it have put you off the entire Superman mythology?
Yeah that pretty much sums up my Smallville experience. Stuck with it till the bitter/disappointing end for Chloe. Lex and Tess were a bonus.
I'm smarting over Outsourced (what DID you think of it), and even Hellcats. It was just getting intereesting, but I could have done without Red's ex's skank teeth.
LOL, this is ridiculous. I've never seen a more overrated character than Chloe Sullivan. There was nothing 'consistently good' about Smallville. It had its ups and downs just like any other show, esp. one that lasts a decade. The writers were too cowardly to take this character to its logical conclusion, that of a villain in season 8, and beyond that her relevance was negligible at best.
I might've agreed with you about Chloe about two or three years ago, but now, I'll probably miss Lois' insane costume collction more than I'll miss Chloe.
Hey, with abs like that, it's no wonder Marti kept showing them off. Seriously, that woman must've spent every single minute she was off-screen doing crunches and situps.
I totally agree with Fitch, too. Detroit 1-8-7 was by far my favourite new show this year, and I'll definitely miss it.
I tried to watch "Off the Map," but I couldn't accept Zach Gilford as anything less than adorable Matt Saracen, my favorite TV character of all time.
Thank you! I agree about Chloe. She wasn't the reason I started watching Smallville, but she was the reason I kept watching. I missed her terribly during most of S10 and I'll miss her terribly now that the show has ended. Best wishes to Allison mack and I hope she's not too burned out on TV to do another series someday.
The Walker dinner parties were some of the most entertaining moments in earlier seasons, but like the rest of the show, they became increasingly train-wrecky and hard to watch.
What, no love for Human Target's Guerrero? Dude!
Thank you for putting Fitch #1. The show's been off so long now, you might have forgotten, but you didn't. Awesome.
I think you forgot everyone and everything on Terriers.
Definitely agree regarding Chloe. I think I might actually miss watching Smallville because of her character.
Agree wholeheartedly, E.J.! I will miss every single relationship on that show.
Ha, I thought I was the only one shamefully addicted to Hellcats. I have to say, though, if my torso looked like Marti's, I probably would not even bother with the half a shirt that she wore. Maybe a quarter shirt. She has enviable abs, is what I'm saying.
"so no putting, like, Firefly people or whatever in the comments, please."
Aw, it's great that TWOP is realizing the troll-tastic nature of Firefly fans with regards to this site. Seriously, they do try to shoe-horn that show into EVERYTHING.
I third Terriers. Really miss seeing how it would have progressed the characters.
Guererro might have made a slightly longer list, but not a top 10.
On the Chloe issue...as others have said, she wasn't the reason I started watching (after all a new character) but she was the strongest reason and practically the only one why I kept tuning in for 10 years. I enjoyed John Glover's turn as Lionel Luthor and believe the actor and character should have gotten a better send-off, but Chloe was the most consistently enjoyable thing about Smallville. Tom Welling's Clark was a muddled mess (rather reflecting the writing) and in spite of scattered flashes in the last two seasons, Lois ends up as second fiddle, even though the character was prominently featured while they kept trying to push Chloe out the door.
There seems to be very little middle ground about her (for a succinct description of an opposing viewpoint, see Alana's comment).
All of you who miss the dinner parties at the Walkers should pay a visit to the Regan family on BLUE BLOODS.They conclude every episode with a family dinner(somebody on the writing staff is obviously a big fan of "The SOPRANOS").
Gotta say that Chloe Sullivan should have been put higher on the list. Allison Mack was easily the most consistent actor of the lot (or at least for her age), even as the writers kept trying to "Mary Sue" the likes of Lana and Lois. If Lois had never shown up, and the show had ended with Chloe easing up on the hair dye (as seen in a flashback ep, she wasn't a natural blonde) and taking her cousin's name, I would not have minded one bit.
Chloe was the reason this show still had some people watching, the best testimony of it was that they pay Allison Mack a lot of money to confirm the ending she already got on Fortune. They knew they will barely pull a a decent number if she wasn't there. Chloe the best character a crappy TV show ever had.
I'll miss the awesome chemistry between Lightman and Foster on Lie to Me . . . talk about two characters (and actors) who deserved stronger writing. Jesus.
Firefly!!!!!!!!
"With another regular television season coming to a close just in time for the Memorial Day weekend, we'd like to hold a memorial of our own..."
Are you really comparing a bunch of stupid television shows to the deaths of men and women in the military throughout the history of our country? I thought TWOP was mostly a waste of time "written" by people who couldn't find a job anywhere else, but this takes the cake of arrogance.
It's thanks to a soldier or marine or sailor or airman that you can spew such drivel.
Tomorrow, take some time to think about what Memorial Day is really about -- not the start of the summer season and not about some canceled TV shows.
I'm sad about Bleep My Dad Says. I loved the jokes William Shatner was soo funny and the Mad TV people made me think of old times.
What about the Chicago Code? I thought that was a really good show and the characters were interesting. Sorry that it was cancelled.
Get off your high horse, you EPIC tool! It's TWOP, what the hell did you expect?
Get off your high horse, you EPIC tool! It's TWOP, what the hell did you expect?
Get off your high horse, you EPIC tool! It's TWOP, what the hell did you expect?
i thought breaking-in was uncanceld
i thought breaking-in was uncanceled
i thought breaking-in was uncanceled
God, yes, I thought Guerrero was awesome.
i thought breaking-in was uncanceled
Faceplam!
Tess maybe but Clark and Lois where the worst acted out and written characters on the show.
I didn't have a problem with Lois at first, but after her "you shot me?"-line in season seven, I couldn't take the character serious anymore. And the fact, that Erica can't act, didn't help at all...
Same goes for Tom Welling.
Thank God for Chloe and Allison Mack, otherwise I wouldn't have watched an episode of this show.
How about:
1) Everything, "Terriers"
2) James Wolk, "Lone Star"
So, you're searching for validation in blog posts on TWoP. That's just sad.
Anyway, I won't miss any of these things because I didn't watch any of these shows. Good riddance to all this nonsense.
Someone on this site has a sense of humor, anyway.
The only tool here is you.
Chloe was basically the only reason I kept watching Smallville after all these years. She's the main reason I already miss that show. Also, nice to see Cash from Breaking In made this list. And thanks for pointing out how underrated that show was.
I know Medium didn't make the list, but I'm going to sorely miss the great dynamic of Alison and Joe Dubois on the show. Such a great and mostly realistic couple!
I know Medium didn't make the list, but I'm going to sorely miss the great dynamic of Alison and Joe Dubois on the show. Such a great and mostly realistic couple!
I agree with you about bringing Allison Mack back for the finale. There's no way that a show like SV, with such a limited budget, would have done that if they hadn't believed that she was an incredibly popular character. In fact, at the Transmedia Hollywood conference in April, Kelly Souders said that 9 out of 10 fan letters about SV are about Chloe (and before the arguing starts, she said it in a positive context about the benefits of things like the Chloe Chronicles).
The one problem I have had with Chloe is that she kept me coming back to SV even when I tried to quit. And that definitely took some seriously formidable likeability.
I hope this was a very attractive inform benediction for handwriting it!
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