Joe Gorga, The Real Housewives of New Jersey
I can't believe this show managed to find someone trashier than Teresa, but apparently her family is just a landfill. Joe got drunk at his own son's christening, started a riot and almost gave his elderly father a heart attack with his crazed behavior this week, and that was only episode one. Can't wait to see if he tops it by, like, punting a nun at someone's First Communion or something.

Brooke Burke, Dancing with the Stars
She's always been incompetent as a co-host, but part of her job on Monday's show was to perform a basic coin toss. Somehow, she does not know how coin tosses work, and when Hines Ward called tails and the coin came up heads, she declared him the winner, making for several minutes of very awkward television. This may not be a big deal to you, but it's a huge deal to me. She's quite possibly worse at her ridiculously simple job than Randy Jackson is at his.

Rachel, Saddle Ranch
She drunkenly started a bar fight that got her unsuspecting boyfriend punched in the face and burned with a heat lamp. Bar fights always sound like so much fun until you consider the innocent bystanders, don't they?

Mario's Mom, 16 & Pregnant
For insisting that her teenage son name her grandchild "Twilight." That is all.

Dustin Zito, The Real Word: Las Vegas
Dustin, Mike's a moron. He doesn't know what he's saying. You know this. Flipping him upside down in a chair and pushing his face for some dumb thing he said to you is like kicking a puppy for looking at you funny.

Winner:
Mario's mom. That's the most heinous instance of attempted child abuse I have ever heard of.

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