The Nine Lives of Chloe King premiered last night on ABC Family, and while it's certainly no Buffy as some had hoped (perhaps we should all just stop thinking there ever will be another Buffy?), it's definitely no Sabrina, the Teenage Witch, either.

Memphis Beat, TNT's resident cop show, had its second season premiere last night. But unlike many season openers, the episode didn't feel like a big "We're Back!" announcement -- because Memphis Beat doesn't really announce anything.

Most shows have a driving force -- a certain pace that helps to create drama. Even shows like White Collar, Covert Affairs and Royal Pains have an urgency to them. That's how TV goes! But that's not how the Memphis Beat goes on. It's completely unconcerned with pacing.

Jessica Simpson is the new Tim Gunn!

Today we've got crime, gluttony, paranormal disease, and...troopers and loggers! Party!

Bachelor Pad is rivaling Celebrity Rehab for the cast with the most people undeserving of fame on one TV show...

Like many gossip blog consumers, I've long been a huge fan of Ice-T and Coco. They are so in love! They are so outrageous! They are so ridiculously dressed at all times! So naturally, I expected E!'s reality show about their lives to be a crowning achievement in trashy reality television. That is, until I actually sat through last night's premiere and was quickly reminded that E! doesn't exactly do this kind of thing very well. Sigh.

Showing remarkably odd timing, The Glee Project debuted last night against the Tony Awards. And while I realize that only about 500 people total watch the Tony Awards and half of them only did because they don't understand the sport of basketball, the Tonys are a pretty big musical theater event. It seems silly that a show that is casting for a series that celebrates musical theater, would debut against it. Then again, I doubt that teenagers are going to care to watch Sutton Foster tap dancing around in a sailor suit, so maybe Oxygen was on to something.

Skins, we hardly knew ye.

Happy Friday, everybody! Time to discuss this week's horrible human beings. Will it be one of those idiots on The Bachelorette? One of those trashcans from the Real Housewives franchises? A bitchy aspiring Food Network star? Let's get in there and figure this out!

The upcoming Oxygen reality series The Glee Project is a singing competition with a scripted payoff: after a series of on-screen auditions, the winner of the show will get a role of some sort on Glee itself. It's not a bad idea, particularly since Gleeks are incredibly dedicated and may tune in to get their first look at a new character, and hear some musical theater performances along the way. In fact, this concept has so much potential, we'd like to see these other shows follow its lead: