BLOGS
This NBC series has been sitting around collecting dust for the past year, which might've been the best and worst thing to happen to it. Instead of premiering amid a sea of other relationship shows, it's got the genre to itself in the summertime, when everyone's standards are lower and viewers are more likely to have time to check out something new. But on the other hand, when a show is all alone in the scripted rom-com landscape, mediocrity really stands out. And with its poorly executed storylines, Love Bites has plenty it should want to hide from the public.
The series is split into three vignettes that loosely tie together, focusing on the particular problems in different couples' relationships. The cast of characters will supposedly change from episode to episode, though there are a few regulars, like Constance Zimmer, Greg Grunberg and Becki Newton. But mostly, the show consists of vaguely familiar faces inserted into scenes, which is where the concept really falls flat. I like Newton and Grunberg but it's hard to really care about them when just as much screen time is spent on Kyle Howard and Lindsay Price in the first episode. Which characters am I supposed to be investing in here? And when the most likable character in the first three vignettes is Krysten Ritter and she's not a regular, it's even harder to muster much enthusiasm. Plus, with only 20 minutes to spend on each couple, by the time the set-up is established, the rest of their respective storylines are basically rushed through.
For instance, we spent a good five minutes of Howard and Price's segment watching Kyle at work with his buddy, worrying about losing his job, before we saw him come home to hear his soon-to-be wife having a screaming orgasm - which turned out to be courtesy of a vibrator that she had received in a separate vignette, instead of another man. The remaining ten minutes in this storyline didn't give us much of a reason for why should like these two as a couple, focusing instead on him trying to outdo the machine. But since they're both guest stars that we may never see again, what's the point?
But it's not like the show's regulars fare much better. Grunberg plays a married guy with Jennifer Love Hewitt on his "Celebrities It's Okay to Sleep With" list who has a close encounter of the intimate kind with JLH herself during a plane trip (she's trying to make her ex-boyfriend jealous). Yet it's Hewitt and another guest star, The Office's Craig Robinson, who get the best moments during the segment - Greg can't even catch a break on what's ostensibly his show. (It didn't help that he was just playing yet another variation on his usual goofy-yet-charming persona; after the second season of Heroes, I can't give him a free pass anymore, no matter how much I loved him on Felicity and Alias.)
The brightest spot in this premiere was the first segment, featuring Newton as a pregnant surrogate for her unseen sister who ends up being the wing-woman for her pal Ritter. Krysten decides that she's tired of Newton's baby-bump getting all the attention, so she tells a cute guy at the bar that she's a virgin. A comedy of errors ensues, ending with she being honest with the guy, who was also lying about his occupation. The story was well written and pretty snappy, and it didn't hurt that Ritter was infused with personality because of her love of Battlestar Galactica. It instantly gave what could've been a generic meet-cute a different twist, which I really appreciated. If only we could've followed these characters for the full hour - as it was, I would've preferred to spend that time rewatching BSG myself. Or, really, almost anything else.
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