My love of Drop Dead Diva is well documented. I should be more ashamed of it than I am (and believe me, I'm pretty ashamed of it), but you know how it is: summertime, lowered expectations, Legally Blonde nostalgia, etc. -- I can't help it! And while last night's Season 3 premiere was just as mindlessly pleasing as this show has always been (minus the painfully lingering Grayson-as-Jane's-soulmate-arc that won't die even though it really should), while watching it I had a lot of, for lack of a better term, "that's so Raven!"-esque moments whenever the episode dipped into its most stereotypically Drop Dead Diva writing and directing wells. There were dozens of these moments last night, but the following are the eight most prominent.
The Lady-Pandering Case
A woman successfully suing a man for booty-calling her, romancing her with false promises and then never calling her again? Ladies, you know what Drop Dead Diva's talkin' about! This show is just mining '80s stand-up comediennes for case ideas now, isn't it? I can't wait for the one where a long-suffering wife sues her husband for never putting the toilet seat down!
The Ridiculous Musical Sequence
Oh, how I love these. I'm not even joking here -- Brooke Elliott's fantastic voice, highlighted by dancing nuns, acrobatic grandpas, shirtless hunky paraplegics and Margaret Cho, doing the Macarena or whatnot in the background is a hell of a way to lighten the mood after one of your main characters is revealed to be in a coma. And if Drop Dead Diva knows how to do anything right, it's lighten the mood.
The Obvious Dumb Blonde Jokes
Stacy is by far my favorite character, but her cheerleading routine in the middle of a law office and jokes like "My yoga instructor says I'm so focused, sometimes it's like there's nothing in my head!" are the worst things about this show.
The Obvious Fat Jokes
Jane's boss comes to her with a "whale" of a client, and Stacy begins defending the person as possibly having a thyroid condition. Right, 'cause whales are fat! Stacy should really be required to hit herself in the head with a microphone every time she delivers these clunkers.
The Soapy Clichés
Grayson wakes up from his coma and has... amnesia! Very convenient and dramatic amnesia! Just makes you want to look up whoever wrote this episode to see if they have any General Hospital or All My Children credits.
The Obligatory Legally Blonde Moment
Obviously, Brooke Elliott has been, shall we say, inspired by Reese Witherspoon's perky, cutesy characterization of Elle Woods, and I do love it when the show comes full circle with courtroom antics to match. Jane presenting Stacy's concealed pimple as a legitimate legal argument in court during a somber murder trial and not only charming but triumphantly compelling the judge and jury with her hot-girl-smarts would make Elle Woods beam with pride.
The Hilarrrrriously Ludicrous Legal Rulings
You know, because of how judges are always ruling that jerky ex-husbands have to buy billboard space publicly declaring that they're bad boyfriend material. Nothing cruel or unusual (or completely ridiculous) about that.
The Unnecessary (But Sometimes Awesome) Stunt-Casting
This show goes crazy with this stuff. Just last night we had Wendy Williams (awesomely) as a judge, Paula Abdul back again as Jane's hallucinatory voice of reason (just let that sink in), LeAnn Rimes as a witness/murder suspect and Mario Lopez as a sad celebrity news clown (or, you know, himself). As fun as it is to see faces you recognize and stuff, do you really want to blow your budget on LeAnn Rimes? And I'm sorry, but it's just time for Paula Abdul to go to bed. I get the mean-spirited irony, but she shouldn't be the voice of reason for anybody, not even an undead aspiring model in a plus-sized lawyer meat suit.
Your thoughts on the premiere? Just want to share your shame as well? Anyone else think Grayson is so boring he makes you want to die like Deb? Leave it all in the comments!
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