With all of the sub-par reality shows and mediocre scripted series not good enough to air during the regular season, the return of True Blood in all of its trashy, soapy, supernatural glory is like a breathe of fresh air. With fairies, werewolves, vampires, waitresses, shapeshifters, witches and lots of sex, it's the perfect summer escapist fare. Here's why we've been counting the minutes until its premiere:
10. We'll Finally Get to Find Out More About Bizarro Fairy Land
At the end of last season, Sookie Stackhouse grabbed Claudine's hand and slipped through a portal into the land of fairy, which, considering all of the odd events on this show, isn't all that strange. We've been waiting a year to find out more about this world and our curiosity is now bordering on impatience.
9. Game of Thrones is Over
The epic fantasy series doesn't have much in common with True Blood but it did leave a huge, bloody void that needs to be filled. So for the time being, we'll substitute vampires for dragons and werewolves for direwolves. Come to think of it, Daenerys would be awesome on TB -- we'd love to see her kick Queen Sophie-Anne's ass.
8. We Need Vampires and Werewolves
Aside from the fact that Teen Wolf is poorly written and terribly acted, there's something dull in this day and age about a show that just has werewolves. We've been spoiled by TB and The Vampire Diaries, and since TVD has been off for a month now, we're having some serious withdrawal symptoms. A vial of True Blood is hopefully the cure.
7. Pam, Hoyt, Andy and Lafayette
These are four of the most awesome supporting characters on TV, so we're hoping they are given a chance to shine this season. We love Pam's snarky wit and amazing shoes, Hoyt's endearing schoolboy charm, Andy's stubbornness and incompetence and Lafayette's bluntness and over-the-top wardrobe. Just no more trippy vision quests with nurses, please.
6. Jason Stackhouse's Abs
It's a superficial reason to tune in, to be sure, but have you seen Jason Stackhouse's washboard physique? And, well, considering that our lovable little Stackhouse brother isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, it's nice that he has something to be proud of.
5. We're Curious About the Changes
Obviously, as loyal Trubies and as fans of vampire romance novels in general, we've already caught up on all of Sookie's adventures in the Southern Vampire series. But since Alan Ball and Co. have taken many liberties with the books (like the existence of Jessica and Lafayette), we're curious about which direction the show will go in. Will Sookie stay in the land of fae? Will she hook up with Alcide? Will anyone be inadvertently turned into a pet cat?
One of the wondrous recent additions to the cast, this pretty boy werewolf gives Jason Stackhouse a run for his money in the ab department, but he's also a genuinely interesting character who can hopefully distract Sookie away from boring, misleading Bill. At the very least, we're happy to see him stand there with a menacing glare.
5. It's Something to Get The Killing Out of Our Heads
We're still annoyed by the fact that we didn't get any real resolution from The Killing, and while True Blood took an entire season to resolve the weird "Michelle Forbes is a goddess who likes to eat fruit and make people have orgies" storyline, at least there was a payoff. That's much better than having to see Michelle Forbes just get all depressed about her murdered kid and leave her family behind for parts unknown.
2. It's For Grownups
While we love The Vampire Diaries, it's geared towards teens, so it's great to have a supernatural series where literally anything, and everything, goes in terms of sex, violence and adult themes. Thank you, HBO.
Our favorite Viking, this intimidating vampire is violent and evil, and yet a viable love interest for Sookie, our beloved queen of bad choices. Sure, Eric would sell out his own mother, if she was still alive, but there's something about him that is just devilishly delightful. More than anything else, we're excited to see the mischief and chaos he will no doubt create this season.
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