This week, we'd like to give a special shout-out to Lifetime Television for debuting two new shows with some really awful people. Thanks! That more than makes up for lackluster episodes of The Bachelorette and Celebrity Rehab. Now let's see who the five worst reality TV stars were this week, and decide on a winner, by which we mean loser.
Jeff (Big Brother)
We've only been able to see Jeff's homophobic rant via the magic of YouTube, since CBS will likely never air it, but it still was pretty reprehensible, not only because Jeff thinks that gay people (specifically the fictional Dumbledore) shouldn't be able to teach children, but also that he accused Kalia of just pretending to defend the gay community so she'd look good on TV. Gee, Jeff, we always thought you were the smart half of the Jorff alliance.
Roseanne (Roseanne's Nuts)
Sometimes she's wickedly amusing, and we slightly appreciate that she just says whatever is on her mind, but really, put some underwear on. We pity the poor editor who had to pixilate her lady parts as the ranting comedienne sat with her legs open, Basic Instinct style, on a couch. She purports to have adopted a laidback hippie lifestyle, but then screams at trees and takes them down with a tractor, in addition to shooting at and contemplating killing the pigs who eat her precious macadamia nuts. And let's not overlook how she profanely yells at her loved ones.
Piers Morgan (America's Got Talent)
This one has sort of been building, as over the last few weeks Piers has basically stomped on anyone who tried to do original music. From Dani Shay (the Bieber lookalike girl), who got chastised for performing an original track, to the Squonk opera and their creative piece to funnyman J Chris Newberg and his "songs." It's not that we think that their tracks were all genius, but Piers basically saying that you have to copy someone else's stuff in order to be famous is not only dumb, but also gives the audience no credit on their ability to appreciate originality. (Though on the other hand, maybe he's got a point given the AGT voting results.)
Abby (Dance Moms)
And we thought Toddlers and Tiaras was bad. Dance studio owner/instructor Abby takes that child star insanity to a whole new kind of level we didn't even know existed. She takes her elite class of girls, each of whom are about eight years old, and ranks them by order of a visual headshot pyramid of popularity she devised. Her criteria for this public shaming is not ability to dance as much as it sis how well someone sucks up to her, follows her endless list of rules and performs without crying and/or throwing up. Her verbally abusive manner actually drove one mother to drink, and when we found out that these moms pay upwards of $16,000 a year for the privilege of having their kids turned into emotionless robots, we were horrified. Her justification for this all is that she's doing it so the kids develop a thick skin for when they go to a real casting. Talk about tough love.
Cindy (Real Housewives of New York)
There are few things we hate more than people having inappropriate cell phone conversations without any consideration for the folks around them. In this week's episode, Cindy showed up for breakfast at Sonja's home and while Sonja was preparing a meal around Cindy's special diet, Cindy took a work call and rudely had the nerve to tell Sonja to be quiet while cooking. Go to another room, or take the call before/after your breakfast. Not to mention that this mostly unseen new addition to the cast also doesn't let her poor assistant eat, apparently.
Because while some people are rude and have made a career of being crass, it takes a special kind of person to start a public screaming match in front of children over the fact that a girl wore socks instead of tights that day. And because she let that get so out of control that she had to waste taxpayer money to call the cops and have them escort the furious mom off the premises. And parents, don't forget to sew your headpieces on to your children, because Abby will get angry if they move. And you wouldn't like her when she's angry... or at all, really.
It's Tubey time! Make sure that your favorite shows, actors, reality stars and characters get the recognition they deserve by voting in our annual Tubey awards. It's where fans have total control over what rates as the best and worst of the past year in a variety of categories. Vote now!
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