We're currently suffering through the most boring season of The Bachelorette to date, and that's even taking into consideration the fact that Bentley was a brutally honest douchebag and that there was a guy wearing a mask for several episodes. And now we hear rumors that Emily might be the star of the show's next season. Really? Is that because her dates with Brad were just so riveting? The only one excited about this news is probably Bentley, who is likely chomping at the bit to humiliate yet another woman. So while it seems like another dull season is on the horizon, we've got some suggestions (i.e. wishful thinking) for how The Bachelorette could actually improve if it wanted to.
10. Ban the Words "Here For the Right Reasons"
We're sick of hearing them and watching as people pretend that this show is really about true love.
9. Hire a More Enthusiastic Host
It isn't entirely Chris Harrison's fault that he's a drain on this show and society as a whole. Years spent dealing with those a-holes would drive us to the brink as well. Particularly if we were kept in a closet and only brought out to have fake pseudo-therapy sessions and to restate the obvious.
8. More Physical Challenges to Prove Their Devotion
Some of the more fascinatingly bizarre moments this season have come when the suitors were forced to beat the hell out of each other doing Muay Thai boxing, or when they had to demonstrate their abilities to row a boat. We'd love to see the men endure more of these feats of strength in order to show their masculinity (or ability to survive multiple concussions) in an attempt to get a rose.
7. Add a Viewer Voting Component
Don't you just hate it when the Bachelorette dumps a perfectly good guy? Why not give viewers a chance to weigh in on whether she made the right decision, or pick who gets a second shot to make a first impression? Though admittedly, we'd probably just vote Bentley back in to make things interesting.
6. Add Some Diversity to the Cast
The casts of these shows are primarily made up of very white guys who have a romance novel model look about them. If hot women really fall for the Kevin James type as those movies have lead us to believe, let's get some plus-sized guys. And while they're at it, some more funny guys and, dare we say it, men of color (ABC's scripted shows don't seem to have the same problem).
5. Cast People Who Aren't Just Trying to Promote Themselves
Bentley basically said he was mainly on the show to promote his business... whatever that is. (At least when Wes did it, we knew he was a terrible musician.) Let's find guys who want to compete on this game show for "love" and US Weekly covers. You know, good old reality famewhores, instead of the small businessmen of the world.
4. Make a Celebrity Edition
Is there not a famous woman out there who would like to choose from nearly 30 guys by dating them all simultaneously? We find that very hard to believe. Is Jennifer Aniston available?
3. Don't Make the Men Propose
The most awkward part of any Bachelorette season comes at the end, where the final two potential husbands get down on one knee and propose to the woman... not knowing if she's already decided on the other guy. Let's just hand out the final rose like normal and then do the faux proposal. Or let's skip the proposal altogether. Make that an After the Final Rose tradition.
2. No Pre-Existing Bachelor Rejects
Because Emily and Brad were still officially "together" when the last Bachelor ended, and because Chantal decided she had a life, we got stuck with Ashley, the most forgettable of all the girls from last season. We were scratching our heads trying to remember what she did to make herself stand out. Let's widen the dating pool a bit and bring in some different women to take on this role, because right now the show is getting almost as weirdly incestuous as Game of Thrones.
1. No Emily
While we don't want Bachelor rejects, we also don't want this "winner," either. She seems nice enough, but we dread having to hear her sob story about her dead fiancé and how hard it is being a single mother again. For like 13 episodes. Or to see the new ways the show exploits her grief. We're also not ready to hear about how devastating it was to be picked as Brad's potential wife and how she had to pretend she liked him. Especially given her limited emotional and acting range.
Watch TWoP's editors preview the summer's most pleasant TV surprises in this segment airing on the New York Nonstop cable news channel:
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