Belle gives it one last go, Football Head finally moves it to DVD and the Mobile Armored Strike Kommand keeps their world safe.

The curtains are finally closing on Wisteria Lane.

What's there to say about The Glee Project? It's just so bad it's good, and it's brought us so much happiness because of that. A bunch of egotistic theater kids testing the patience of singing coaches and choreographers, all trying to stand out by putting on secondhand embarrassment-inducing performances...It's winning, it really is. Remember when Matheus took his shirt off? Or when Ellis had her first kiss? We really have come quite a ways since those first few weeks -- and it shows; the aforementioned secondhand embarrassment is now at a minimum. Which is why last night's elimination got us thinking: One of these kids really is going to be on Glee next season. For seven episodes! They'll have songs on iTunes and tweet pictures with the cast and maybe even become someone's love interest. So what roles will they take on? Well, we're sure you're shocked -- but we've got some suggestions.

For every well-intentioned project ABC Family puts on air -- Switched at Birth, Cyberbully, even their recent "Delete Digital Drama" campaign -- there's about a billion stupid, trite and silly ones; take last night's original movie, Teen Spirit. Yes, at first glance it didn't sound like it was going to be too terrible: A popular girl dies and, to go to heaven instead of hell, she has to help the biggest nerd in the school win prom queen. But painful it was. It was every teen movie cliché stuck into one, and the fixation on death (and dirty jokes) certainly didn't help. I even started out trying to write just the five worst things about the movie, but I ended up with eight. Here goes:

Jersey Shore's much hyped trip to Italy finally premiered last night. While the show featured a lot of things that the franchise is known for, it was majorly lacking in one thing it normally has an abundance of: drama (even of the manufactured kind). Instead the episode was filled with a lot of slapstick comedy moments. So apparently the show has become a sitcom now? It sort of makes sense because these people are basically real-life caricatures. Here are the most ridiculous moments from the season opener:

It's going to be an action movie-esque Oscars...

It's the week of Jersey Shore and yet those morons weren't the worst people on TV... yet. Let's give them time, shall we? In the meantime, see who did make the cut.

Television is no place for children. Between Teen Mom, Toddlers & Tiaras and Dance Moms, we cringe for those poor kids who are clearly growing up in dysfunctional homes. But as bad as it is to be forced into pageantry or to have Amber Portwood as your mother, at least reality kids don't have it quite has awful as many of the tykes on scripted series. Here are the ones that really need to have a fictional Child Protective Services intervene on their behalf:

Today, Marg Helgenberger takes a page out of Laurence Fishburne's book, America's Next Top Model brings the crazies back and How I Met Your Mother puts Robin in the spotlight.

Today we learned a little bit more about Ashton Kutcher's new gig, GLAAD chose CBS as Most Homophobic Network Ever (kidding!), and Charlene Yi signed on to a show way past it's prime.