In news that surprised absolutely no one (including us), FOX announced that Jennifer Lopez will definitely be returning to American Idol for the show's eleventh season, which just started filming in Savannah, GA . Gotta have some steady income to pay those divorce lawyers, right Jen?

Looking to generate some desperately-needed buzz to distract from their woeful fall line-up, The CW is reportedly eyeing a Sex and the City prequel series based on Candace Bushnell's high-school set prequel, The Carrie Diaries. The project is still in the early stages of development, which gives the network plenty of time to realize that prequels are almost always a bad idea, X-Men: First Class and select episodes of Caprica notwithstanding.

In other unsurprising announcements, ex-Gossip Girl star Taylor Momsen revealed that she's quitting acting forever to Elle.com. The question now is, will her self-imposed retirement last longer than Amanda Bynes'? Stay tuned...

After clothing house Abercrombie & Fitch announced that they would pay Jersey Shore's Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino to not wear their clothes, MTV stepped up to defend their ab-tastic star, calling the whole situation a "clever PR stunt." Not sure that "clever" is really the right word for this particular... uh, situation -- "understandable" or even "necessary" makes more sense.

If you've ever asked yourself, "Gee, I wonder what kind of parents would raise a guy as strange as Andy Bernard?" wonder no more! Dunder Mifflin's least-successful salesman will receive a visit from Mom and Dad on the new season of The Office. 7th Heaven's Stephen Collins and E.T.'s Dee Wallace have been cast as Mr. and Mrs. Bernard respectively. Okay, if we squint real hard, we can see the family resemblance.

Keeping it all in the family, former Sopranos scribe Terrence Winter has hired Dominic Chianese a.k.a. Uncle Junior for a six-episode arc on Winter's new show, Boardwalk Empire. Chianese will play Leander Whitlock, a contemporary of Dabney Coleman's Commodore Louis Kaestner. Hopefully we won't see Whitlock wandering around Atlantic City in his bathrobe.

The Defenders may have been sentenced to cancellation, but Jim Belushi isn't wasting time getting back on your TV. The actor is teaming with Murphy Brown creator Diane English to develop a sitcom about a single dad coping with raising a teenager. Hey CW! If that Sex and the City prequel falls through, here's your big Fall 2012 show!