Television is no place for children. Between Teen Mom, Toddlers & Tiaras and Dance Moms, we cringe for those poor kids who are clearly growing up in dysfunctional homes. But as bad as it is to be forced into pageantry or to have Amber Portwood as your mother, at least reality kids don't have it quite has awful as many of the tykes on scripted series. Here are the ones that really need to have a fictional Child Protective Services intervene on their behalf:
10. Peggy's baby, Mad Men
Well, for starters, the kid will definitely not grow up with photos of his biological mother while she was pregnant. And we feel bad that he was such a quiet little guy in the womb that Peggy didn't even realize he existed. He's pretty much destined for a life of sinking into the background. It's a shame a stranger adopted him -- sounds like he'd be Betty Draper's dream child.
9. Beth, Glee
While she dodged a bullet by not being raised by Quinn and Puck, this New Directions baby isn't completely in the clear -- after all, Shelby Corcoran totally bailed on her motherly duties when it came to Rachel. We'd argue that the only way to be sure this kid is okay is to make an entire spin-off about her.
8. Anastasia, Gossip Girl
Dorota's daughter is basically doomed to a life of taking a back seat to Blair Waldorf. And didn't she get banished to a web series, or something? That's some serious child neglect.
7. Tyson, Degrassi
It's absolutely possible to grow up to be a functioning person if your parents were teens when they had you. But if your mom went on an American Idol-type of show while she was pregnant with you in order to get sympathy votes, and your dad is constantly out flirting with other girls, that's a whole 'nother story. And don't get us started on Jenna's pyramid incident.
6. Zola, Grey's Anatomy
Yeah, we'd take dumb teen parents over Meredith and Derek any day.
5. Henry, Fringe
First of all, Henry got injected with all sorts of unpleasantness in the womb. Plus, mommy Fauxlivia lives in an alternate universe with a very, very dangerous job.
4. Holly, Breaking Bad
As far as parents who will inevitably die go, baby Holly is guaranteed to lose at leasther dad in the near future. And her mom takes her to sketchy places constantly, from her lover's house to her car wash stakeouts. On the bright side, she's an heiress to a huge fortune -- albeit a dirty one.
3. Sarah's baby, Falling Skies
If you're a kid on this show, you're screwed. Besides the fact that this baby's got an astronomical chance of being abducted by Skitters, it kinda seems like the only reason he/she (do we even know the sex yet?) was born was so that we could see a softer, more midwife-y side of Weaver.
2. Ben, Community
Sure, both of his parents will be there to raise him and he's in no danger. But Ben Bennett could've been a highly-resilient Chang baby! And he would've had a tail! Talk about missing out.
1. Mikey, True Blood
Who wouldn't feel sorry for TV's number one demon child? Getting the genes of his serial killer dad is a total bummer, while his mom is a crazy vampire-hating judgmental freak. Mikey is so messed up that he set his house on flames, leaving Arlene and his stepdad for dead. And that creepy doll has got to be the worst. toy. ever.
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