Ron: C+
Graded on a curve of course, because you indeed had some big laughs. Still, if you want to rank better next time, you can't solely rely on meat-based jokes and the (visually hilarious) burnt-off hair gag from last season. Is Tammy No. 1 already messing with your head?
Best line of the night: "I have the toes I have. Let's just leave it at that."

Leslie: B
Sorry, Knope, but if you want our vote for City Council, you'll need to show us more original jokes. We get that your idols are all empowering older women, but you were funniest tonight when you nervously dodged telling Ben about your candidacy. Focus on that.
Best line of the night: "Anchors aweigh, ladies."

Tom: B+
First of all: Love the shoes. But we need more of you next week, because periodically coming in with swag from Entertainment 720 was not enough for us. You could have at least brought in more fireplace bellows.
Best line of the night: "It's also a strong magnet, so don't put it in your wallet, or it will erase your credit cards. Gua-Ren-Teed."

Andy: A
Excellent work last night, especially with reaction shots. We love your relationship with April more and more every day, and we, too, wonder what it would look like if you chucked that bottle of Pepto-Bismol at the wall. Sorry you had to find out about dick flashing that way, and we hope Tom's magnetic business card helps you out with your financial problems.
Best line of the night: "Honey, your breasts look amazing."

April: A+
Congratulations on being top of the class. You stayed true to character while bumping up the hilarity on your sarcasm. Honestly, the worst thing about watching your performance was trying to decide which line was best.
Best line of the night: "101 million."

Honorable mentions: Perd Hapley, who may not understand puns but certainly gets the cadence of a joke, and Sewage Joe, who can be reached at stinkmaster69@alumni.sarahlawerencecollege.edu. We'll miss ya, buddy. Good luck with those balls.

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