BLOGS

Terra Nova and Five More Ridiculous Uses of Time Travel

Shows like Doctor Who and Quantum Leap are entirely based on the premise that they send their lead characters all throughout various points in time. Terra Nova isn't jumping all over the place, but instead just sends a handful of people 85 million years back, in some sort of alternate timeline, in order to save a few members of mankind. While they seemingly can't save the folks in our existence who can't see the sun, or breathe on their own or eat oranges or have more than two children without getting arrested, they do have a plan on saving humans as a race by sending them through a portal back 85 million years to create a new society. Or something. We're a little fuzzy on the details.

Why not send folks back to an alternate timeline that's only 50 or 100 years ago, or to the Industrial Revolution, or to the colonial period, or the Renaissance, or, you know, any time that included a modicum of civilization instead of the dino-infested Cretaceous period? And how is it that people can't return from the past but messages can still be sent to the future timeline? It's all so much more complicated than falling into the abyss and ending up playing with dinosaurs Land of the Lost-style. So while we're still trying to wrap our head around Terra Nova's confusing logic, we've compiled a few other somewhat recent examples of time travel on TV shows that just went to waste. We've left off Charmed (because those witches went back to change history all the time with varying results), anything to do with Urkel's time machine and Family Guy, because using a tanning bed to time travel was intentionally be comical.

Turning Japanese (Heroes)
Aside from bringing Adam Monroe/Takezo Kensei into the fold, Hiro's entire jaunt to the 17th century was quite annoying and was the beginning of a downhill spiral that involved Hiro engaging in some inconsequential romance that didn't involve that girl from Glee, and learning to send notes via ancient scrolls.

Back to the '70s (Lost)
We appreciated the jumpsuits, and the way people dealt with younger versions of people they knew, and their lack of modern conveniences, but after all was said and done, did we need to be hopping along in a time shift in order to arrive to the conclusion we got? We blame the frozen donkey wheel for this one.

Tribbles: the Ewoks of Star Trek (Star Trek: Deep Space 9)
We never saw the point of this aside from "Hey, we got this cool technology that allows us to digitally insert our actors into classic footage so we might as well use it." That and because they must have wanted to capitalize on the success of the always adorable Tribbles. Was it a fun episode? Sure. Necessary? Not really.

We're On a Boat (The X-Files)
If you go back in time, you can totally make out with a girl that is a doppelgänger of the partner that you've wanted to kiss for ages. Sure, it was dressed up with Nazis and period clothing and involved Mulder falling into the ocean of the Bermuda Triangle and winding up in 1938, but really this trip through time was all about the kiss and his present day confession of love.

Somebody Save Me (Smallville)
Lana Lang gets hit by a bus and a devastated Clark can't possibly leave her for dead, so he finds a way to restart the day and save her life. Only to have his dad get killed in her place. That's a major downgrade. Lesson learned: never save Lana. Ever.

Just how insanely expensive was the Terra Nova pilot? Find out.

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12 Comments

September 27, 2011 9:02 AM
joseflv
Reply

Why not send folks back to an alternate timeline that's only 50 or 100 years ago, or to the Industrial Revolution...
I thought they said that the time portal was discovered as a by-product of some other experiment and that they didn't really have that much control over it. Of course, that doesn't explain how they knew that it went back 85 million years since the probe that they sent was never found in the present/now. The show seemed deliberately hazy about this, either because they don't want to address the inconsistencies, or there's more going on that we don't know about yet.

September 27, 2011 9:32 AM
HN
Reply
replied to comment from joseflv

Also, going back 50 or 100 years, to a time when the Earth was *already* overpopulated and careening toward its eventual destruction wouldn't have helped much.

September 27, 2011 9:54 AM
chickenasaurus
Reply

A bad review for a bad TV show. I'm not referring to the review's attitude, I'm referring to the review itself. You did not pay attention to the show, nor did you put any thought into what you think you saw. That said, the show's attempt at drawing emotion in the audience was cheesy... kinda like this review.

September 27, 2011 3:40 PM
Erica
Reply
replied to comment from chickenasaurus

You do realize this isn't an actual review but a humorous blog post right?

September 27, 2011 8:28 PM
Michelle
Reply
replied to comment from HN

Exactly what I was thinking!

September 27, 2011 10:13 PM
LaMatadita
Reply

As the first poster pointed out, the scientists have no control over the time warp (at least not as far as we know). Also, it was established toward the end that the "separate timeline" is a bunch of BS--what the "settlers" do apparently CAN change the future, and there's a big conspiracy/cover-up about it.

I'm not even pointing these things out because I'm a huge fan of the show, but rather because I used to be a fan of this site.

Do you even bother to watch the shows you write about, Angel? Almost every article you write is full of inaccuracies that make it seem like you're collecting a paycheck to write about something you don't give a rat's ass about. I know these little articles are supposed to be "funny," but the only thing funny about them is how half-assed they are. Maybe they would have a better chance of being genuinely funny if you paid attention to the shows you write about and put more than 5 minutes of thought into what you say about them.

September 27, 2011 11:03 PM
Mr. Cooper
Reply

I took a look at this show. You have it down to the T. Very bland and not much new, except the actors. I really feel as though the kids aren't that good at acting, they could have got better and more realistic talent. Very basic plot with the "guy" who thinks and we know can always save the day. They shouldn't have said he always finds a way.

I like this just like your weeds post in which I had a reply.

September 28, 2011 12:22 AM
Georgia
Reply

Really? Felicity didn't make the list?

September 28, 2011 4:38 PM
kaylie
Reply

What about Supernatural? They traveled to the past at least 3 times.

September 28, 2011 5:09 PM
jen
Reply
replied to comment from LaMatadita

+1. these things all sound like you write them based off of tvguide magazine blurbs, not as though you were people who actually watch the shows. they aren't even funny. being funny requires knowledge of your subject.

December 20, 2011 10:58 AM
doppio lettore cd
Reply

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Reply

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