This was one of the most painful television experiences I've had in a long time, and I watched two episodes of Whitney. I don't know why I had any expectations for this one; perhaps it was because I adore Melissa McCarthy and was hoping that the writers here would have some fun stuff for her. But honestly, she's better served on Mike & Molly, where at least she gets some actual really good lines without having to be "that crazy person." This episode was so terrible that Lady Antebellum, who I am normally not a fan of (the ways I hate that "I'm a little drunk" song are too long to even count), doesn't even make this list of the worst things about the night.
Andy Samberg and Melissa McCarthy meet in a bar and we find out about all their faults in the bedroom, and then they still plan to sleep together. We've got more than a few complaints about this sketch, and we could probably fill a mail bag or two with them easily.
The Opening Monologue
Clearly, this show had no idea what to do with this talented Emmy-winning actress, so they made her awkwardly sing and dance with Kristin Wiig and use fake dancers for half of it to boot. And the fact that Melissa told her kids to go to bed because mama was about to get really inappropriate wrongfully got my hopes up for the rest of the episode.
The Taste Testers
If you've always wanted to see Melissa McCarthy covered in ranch dressing, here's your chance, because that seems to be the entire point of this sketch.
An episode should never start with this Lawrence Welk sketch. Ever. In fact, it should probably be retired completely. The gimmick and novelty have worn way off and it seemed to be just put in there to show that Melissa was a curvy gal who liked to eat. There are more clever ways to use her, this was a waste.
Melissa McCarthy is a really clumsy Mae West type person who falls downstairs. Repeatedly. Yeah, it's as funny as it sounds.
Arlene is an outspoken lady who molests her co-worker and insists that he's in love with her and she does inappropriate things to him... and a horse balloon. It had a few moments that nearly made me chuckle, but the words "lady boner" turned me off.
The sketch about the people who comment on blogs on the internet wasn't horrible... it was just utterly boring. And the Chris Rock sketch wasn't funny, but at least it was short, so we can appreciate that. The only remotely redeemable thing about this episode was the Digital Short. Not that Blue Man Group or Stomp are at all timely, but putting them together with a cop drama was kind of amusing. It's no laser cats, though. I'm mostly trying to figure out who I feel worse for, McCarthy or Bryan Cranston, who suffered a similar fate last season. Maybe they can form a club for talented Emmy winners who were game for anything and just forced to act like idiots for their stints on SNL.
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